Auschwitz

Last week Jon, Kane and I all visited Auschwitz Concentration Camp, about an hour drive east of Krakow, Poland. I had been looking forward to this part of our trip in a morbid sort of way, mostly because this is an attraction that is meaningful. As much as I love cafes and museums and castles, I was looking forward to a real monument where something definite and tangible happened, however horrible. It wasn't exactly what I had expected, and not for reasons I could have foreseen. Side note also pertaining to last blog entry - pictures now available for Austria, Slovakia, Hungary, Poland (including Auschwitz), click here.

First of all, this facility reportedly receives one million visitors per year. I believe most of these visitors were there the same day we were. Ok, not really, but the place was packed. I had envisioned, like an Imax movie theater, the reception and ticket buying area would be equipped to handle throngs of visitors. Instead it was woefully unequipped with only two ticket windows in a small lobby with a line of people that choked the whole room. I wondered if they were trying to give us the full, historically accurate arrival-to-Auschwitz experience complete with unruly crowds of confused people who don't speak the same language. If so, I experienced the desired effect (sans impending doom).

After fighting our way to the ticket counter and paying our money, we were sent to waiting area "A" to receive our headphones and receivers for the tour. My first question, since I've been to Alcatraz with a broken audio tour cassette player before (ok it was a while ago): how can we check if these work before the tour starts? The answer was that you can't. I had a sneaking suspicion that one of our apparati would fail us in the first frantic minutes of the tour, and I was right. Kane's receiver didn't work. So, while Jon and I tried to listen to the first part of the tour, Kane rushed over to the counter where the workers were not prepared in the slightest to handle such a ridiculously unforeseeable problem, eventually replacing his unit with a working one. And so we were off.

The tour started in Auschwitz I, the smaller, original facility. Our group was about 30-40 people with one guide who spoke into a microphone which was projected into our headphones via receiver units. This was a nice strategy since it wouldn't have been quite the same experience had the guide been yelling so that we could all hear her. Auschwitz I appeared to be mostly in tact – the two story brick barracks still line the gravel streets surrounded by double barbed wire fences and interspersed wooden guard towers. It didn't feel particularly creepy to me, but I did see how it would work effectively as a prison.

Many of the barracks units have been turned into displays for different aspects of the lives of the prisoners. We saw examples of their living quarters, washrooms, pictures taken during the war, prisoners' belongings that were stockpiled by the Nazis, and the punishment barracks. The special punishment barrack consisted of the Wall of Death where people were executed, the poles where people were pole hanged, and an underground area where there were special cells for starving people to death, keeping them in complete darkness, and forcing them to stand indefinitely. There were also standing cells at Dachau – a person was forced to work throughout the day (manual labor for 10-16 hours) like everyone else, then, instead of being allowed to sleep, they were forced to crawl into a tiny stone chamber sized such that you can only stand in complete darkness for the night. Many people suffocated or died of exhaustion after a few days of this. I think that was one of the most gruesome pieces of evidence still remaining.
Interestingly, the part of the tour that saddened me the most – more than seeing pictures of the prisoners faces or the gas chamber – was the display of the belongings of the prisoners. During WWII, when you were sent to Auschwitz, you were told to bring necessities and not allowed to bring valuables. People packed what they thought they would need for – what? Well, they never imagined what would greet them when they arrived, of course. So they filled their suitcases with clothes, shoes, toiletries, food. Like anyone would. The Nazis, supremely organized and efficient as they were, stole those belongings, sorted them into giant piles and reused what they could for their campaign. When Auschwitz was liberated (along with all the other camps as well), the allies found entire warehouses filled with shoes. Or pots and pans. Or human hair.

There was one picture of a pile of hair combs. For some reason that hit a chord with me – everyone brought their combs; they would surely need to comb their hair wherever they were going, right? How could anyone anticipate otherwise? Every social norm that we have ever been taught tells people to keep groomed, to look tidy. Instead, their suitcases were left on the arrival ramp to be emptied, sorted, and fed back into the machine of the organization who would take far more than just their belongings. In addition to the picture of the combs, there was also a large pile of brushes, a room with 40,000 shoes in it, a giant room filled knee high with pots and pans, a hallway with hundreds – hundreds – of prosthetic legs, a room with human hair from what they estimated were thousands or women, and dozens of tins of shoe polish. There were also hundreds of suitcases labeled in neat handwriting with the owners' names, birth dates, and addresses. The Nazis had everyone label their bags supposedly so that the prisoners could find their belongings again when they left.

The other people on our tour were a notable distraction from all this, to us at least. Two women brought microscopic dogs in stylish, pink carrying cases. Is it really necessary to bring your dog for this? Is there not some irony in bringing a caged animal into a concentration camp? Another family thought it was a good idea to bring their two toddlers. They dragged them, whimpering and screeching and running in circles into each and every exhibit, folding and unfolding the stroller each time. Why one of the six adults in that family could not 1) calm the particularly agitated child and/or 2) wait outside the “please maintain a respectful silence” exhibits with said children is beyond me. I'm sure their tiny brains really learned a lot from their educational visit*.

The second part of our tour consisted of a jam packed, belated bus ride to Auschwitz II – Birkenau, the much larger site 3km (2mi) away. Now we didn't have our little headphones anymore and we had to strain to hear our soft-spoken guide over the pair of squealing children. Here we visited the toilet facilities and sleeping quarters that were still standing with the guide (at which point one woman's cell phone went off despite earlier requests to turn off phones), then saw what's left of two of the four original gas chamber/crematoriums. This place was the real death factory; some 1.5 million men, women, and children were killed here, most directly upon arrival. Pregnant women and children were the first priority to the chambers – they were of no worth as laborers to the Nazis.

The four gas chambers at Birkenau were mostly destroyed after the Nazis blew them up in their haste to cover their tracks just before the war ended. The one that was in tact was the smaller facility at Auschwitz I, which we visited during the first half of our tour. This one was relatively small in capacity, not much larger than a house but with low ceilings, no windows, and plain concrete walls, ceiling and floor. The crematorium is attached adjacent. We walked through in silence, as requested, only distracted when the Asian tour guide with the group in front of us decided this was a great place to continue explaining things to his group. The “silence please” signs were certainly not in whatever language they spoke, but surely he, as the guide, would know this is a quiet zone? My eyes were starting to hurt from rolling them at all these ridiculous people.
So, after a good four hours, we were all Auschwitz-ed out. And with good timing since it was just starting to sprinkle. After a not-as-crowded bus ride back to Auschwitz I, we made our way back to our car and meandered back to our hotel for the night. I found it to be a really great experience that could have only been improved if the facility itself was better equipped to handle the volume of visitors present and if the visitors themselves stopped acting like they were visiting Disneyland rather than a former Nazi death camp.

*To Adele: No, I do not hate children. Just those who I encounter that are not related to me or my friends, especially when they are screaming.

And Then There Were Two

Today concluded our week and a half trip with Jon. We took him to the Krakow airport at 5:45am (thanks for the going away present, Jon) and now we're back on our own again. Having Jon with us for 11 days was a really good kick start to the major road trip part of this vacation. A third person, if you can stand their constant presence for this long, makes any activity more fun, adds depth (if not assistance) to decision making, and, best of all, reduces the cost of shared items. Mostly we invited Jon to save a few bucks. Kidding, of course. There are few people in the world who Kane and I can stand in such a constant supply, too bad our stint as the Three Musketeers had to end. But we hit up a lot of sights, had a lot of laughs, and covered a fair amount of ground in the week an a half since we left Germany. Let's recap since I haven't really been providing much bloggular insight into this part of the trip thus far.

We left Munich on July 25 heading for Salzburg in Austria. We only spent one night there and the town was really nice. They have a kick ass castle, even amongst the relative hordes of castles that plague this land. And we happened to catch some sort of festival occurring downtown, passing by two night time performances in different plazas of the town. We weren't terribly interested in the opera performance or the symphony, but it was still cool to see everyone out at night and events taking place.

Next stop was Vienna which was probably our biggest disappointment of the trip. Vienna is a decent city with a snazzy, upscale downtown, but we just didn't really jive. First thing we noticed consistently about Vienna: it smells. Curious scents waft unexpectedly from all parts of the city. It wasn't clear why or if we were just walking down the wrong alleyways, but the place stank. Next to annoy was the prices of everything and anything in that city. Everything was expensive. Again, not really sure why, Vienna is no better than the other big cities we've seen, but everything was significantly more expensive than anywhere else so far. And lastly, Vienna is mostly known for museums and art galleries, etc. We perused the choices and nothing really struck our fancy. We weren't even able to make it to the Technology Museum which had a chance of being interesting. There was an excellent vegetarian restaurant and our bus tour of the city was nice, but overall, not the coolest place. Oh yeah, I am happy to report that the famous chocolate cake Vienna is known for, Sacher Torte, is good.

After stopping in Bratislava, Slovokia (nice town, pretty uneventful, excellent garlic soup) on our way over to Hungary, we spent three full days in Budapest. We all thoroughly enjoyed Budapest, mainly because the weather was hot and they have a plethora of public baths to patronize. This is apparently a major tourist attraction (the locals partake enthusiastically as well), even though I didn't really know much about it before arriving. There are dozens of baths throughout the city and we hit up three during our stay. I wasn't really sure what to expect, but basically these facilities are just large complexes with many swimming pools. And since they are so popular, they are not disused, run-down, and filthy like the ones typically found in the States (ie The Hayward Plunge). The first place we went to was the best: three large outdoor pools, one cool, one warm, and one hot, and a series of indoor rooms with smaller pools of varying temperature with many sauna rooms attached. It was fun to explore and since it was not overrun with children, we were actually able to enjoy ourselves. We also did a walking tour and a river boat cruise in Budapest, but, aside from the baths, didn't explore a whole lot else. The food left something to be desired though, I should note.

Which brings us to our final destination of our trip with Jon: Krakow, Poland. On Sunday the 2^nd we drove through Slovakia again to get to Krakow in the south of Poland where we spent our final three days. Krakow has been my favorite place so far. Initially, the city looked sort of like Budapest: old buildings, not terribly well kept, narrow streets, nothing very special in the general look of the city. But I quickly realized that in the area we were staying and in the city center (about 20 minute walk apart) there were throngs of cute boutiques and cafes tucked into these old decrepit buildings. I wouldn't say the place was upscale, but many of the individual shops were. It was sort of a weird juxtaposition. But it was so likable: the people all speak English (happily) but don't assume you're a tourist, greeting you initially in Polish then switching easily so that we can understand. The streets are lined with tables spilling from cafes, full of people at seemingly all hours of the day and night. The stores sell cute clothes, shoes, cloth, pastries, etc. Everything is about 2/3 the price it would be in Germany/Australia/The US. It was excellent.

We mostly milled about in Krakow, enjoying the outdoor cafes in the city center, meandering in the downtown shops, having ice cream and smoothies and playing cards every night at a tiny bar/cafe near our hotel that quickly became our favorite. A truly great vacation spot for us; I would recommend Krakow to anyone. We did take one day and do a complete tour of the nearby Auschwitz concentration camp, which I will discuss in another entry. Pics will be forthcoming as well...I've taken so many it's hard to pick out the ones to post on my Picasa. But it shall be done! Now time for a nap in Prague.

Bad Decision

Today I made a bad decision. I don't often make bad decisions; I typically pride myself on this aspect of my personality. Excusing circumstances when no educated guess can be made (such as which restaurant to have lunch at in Vienna which turned out to be bad yesterday) I try to weigh options, pose logical solutions, and think practically and objectively about the outcomes of the choices I make. On vacation, it's far easier to make bad choices since every place is new (and, in this case, foreign) and you just don't know what to expect. In this case, I was just plain being an idiot.

No, I was not drunk. I don't drink often and I have yet to drink on this trip at all, save a shot of Bailey's on the plane (it was free!). Today we went to the permanent amusement park in Vienna to have a look around. Our original intent was to ride the 100 year old ferris wheel (sorry mom) and see if there were any other rides that look fun. Which there were. Two rides piqued our attention: a river rafting-style ride (similar to Rip Roaring Rapids at Great America for the Bay Area residents) and a super spinning tea-cups-on-crack style ride. Kane isn't a huge fan of rides so Jon and I decided to patronize the spinning-pods-on-spinning-tenticles ride. This was my bad decision of the year.

As a child I always loved roller coasters and to the best of my knowledge I still do. I also always like the teacups rides which are the ones where you sit in a pod that spins on a platform that spins attached to a central apparatus that spins. It's dizzying madness and it's always made me very happy and appropriately disoriented. This ride was just like a teacups ride but it also went upside down. Apparently this makes all the difference in the world.
The ride starts right side up. And so I started laughing. Fun! It starts to invert. Wooow, crazy more fun! We're all the way upside down. We're thrown around up and down. Which way are we facing? Is that the floor? I feel vomit-ish. I close my eyes. Laughter turns to moaning. Groaning, really. We slow down.
To Jon I say, "Oh thank goodness, I don't think I could have lasted much longer without throwing up"

Jon's response is a notable silence...

We start to spin backwards. We do the whole thing again backwards, though it doesn't really matter because being tossed around in a clothes dryer is pretty much the same no matter which way you're facing. It finally stops. We stagger off. I think I feel better, but this is just the beginning of my sickness. I think I was in shock. Cold sweats followed by hot sweats. I can't walk. Sitting hurts. I check to see that a garbage can is within projectile vomit range. Talking hurts. Jon is ok. I am a wreck.
I collapse onto a bench. At least I have the smell of cotton candy and children to help ease the pain. A half hour later I'm ok to walk to another bench thirty feet away. We forego any other rides; I am too fragile to engage in anything further. The thought of a train ride makes me shiver. A soda helps me regain composure. We continue the day without further incident; a salad a couple hours later and I was good as new. Apparently I'm too old for upside-down-triple-spin rides.

My first words after stepping off that hellish ride? For fans of Anchorman..."Milk was a bad choice". And indeed it was a bad choice.

Ice Caves

We went to ice caves in Austria today which has inspired this entry that is relatively unrelated to both ice and caves. They have instead, as the apex of a series of similar experiences throughout Germany and Austria, inspired a rant about these people who refuse to give out information. And I don't just mean because I can't read the signs in German anymore, I mean there are often no signs and no one tells you crap. I will explain.

Yesterday we arrived in Austria and had a very nice day and night in Salzburg. Today we were scheduled to drive to Vienna and stop at a couple attractions along the way which included salt mines and ice caves. The salt mines were really cool, but that's not the point of this blog entry. We arrived at the ice caves just after 3pm. Our guidebook said the last tour was at 4pm, so we were happy to have made it in time. Our guide book also said that the tour was €9. Upon arrival and after deciphering the sign posted, we were informed that the actual cost, including the gondola ride up the monstrous mountain (which would have taken hours to walk up) was no less than €26 each. To translate, that's about $38 USD or about $50 AUD. Per person. What does this include? Well that's part of the surprise; they don't really tell you. Gondola ride up, ice cave tour, gondola back down. Sounds pretty simple I guess.

We take the insane gondola ride up, ears popping. We land on a massive mountain and get a tour group number. The man tells us that the entrance to the cave is a 15 minute walk up the hill so make sure to be there on time for our 4pm tour. Ok, we can do that. We start to walk toward the entrance of the cave. What no sign or personnel told us is that the “walk” up to this cave is a heinous 45 degree slope mountainous climb in direct sunlight on an 85 degree day (well I suppose we could have figured the temperature on our own). With no water or bathrooms at the top. Oh, cool, I wanted to strain my quadriceps today. What if we were with someone elderly? Or handicapped? Or just lazy? Incidentally we were with someone lazy; two someones in fact. Jon and I had a complain fest; why were we not told of this obstacle? And better yet, why doesn't the damn gondola take us all the way up here? You think I came here to hike? I digress. The day was beautiful, the view was gorgeous, and we were about to see a freaking ice cave. On we went.

We get to the cave entrance and see that tour number 5 leaves in 15 minutes. It's already 4pm and we're in tour group number 6....so we're not really sure what's supposed to happen here. People start to go into the cave for tour group number 5 and fortunately Jon, who understands German, overheard some people asking about tour group 6, to which the guide replied something like, “yeah, this is the last tour so you better come with us”. God forbid we get a proper announcement or any indication in the language that we speak, even though supposedly the tour is in both English and German. So we follow this double sized group into the cave. The group is so large and unwieldy that we can't get anywhere near the guide and are instead fighting through a crowd of people at each turn. I don't want to be with this many people unless a band is playing at the front of the place, ok? But, it's a good cave, I'll give it that. It was enormous and well lit and full of ice as promised. It was, of course, quite cold (freezing actually), but we were warned about this which makes all the damn difference in the world.As the tour began, we noticed that the guide was not repeating anything in English as our last tour (at the salt mines) had done*. So, even though they had told us that the tours were in both English and German (which we assumed to mean at the same time) they apparently had sent us off on a German only tour. Even though I bought the tickets in English. Where is the disconnect here? Can you people throw me a bone?

The funniest thing was that as we entered the cave everyone was stopping at a little unlabeled machine to get a ticket. I asked Jon, “what are these tickets for?” but he hadn't heard the guide say. Jon procured a ticket through the masses but it said nothing on it. A ticket with no text. What? Kane and I passed through sans ticket hoping that it wasn't like the ticket to get out of the ice cave or something. Via Jon's translation, there was supposedly no mention of this ticket for the entire tour. (Incidentally, there was also no mention of when or how this ice cave was discovered way up in the middle of an Austrian mountain.) Anyway, upon exiting the cave, there was a similar mad rush to another machine where one was to insert his/her previously aquired ticket. It apparently printed some text on the card or something, but we never really found out since Jon's ticket wouldn't go in. Yet another enigma.

So, what I'm noticing is that they don't sign things very well here (roads excepted, thank goodness). No warnings, no explanations, no instructions. You move forward, pay your money, and hope everything works out to your satisfaction. And if it doesn't, too damn bad. I suppose it's because I come from a land where that same ice cave would have had 150 warning signs, a liability waiver, an extensive informational pamphlet, six foot continuous guard rails, and required helmet rentals (fully sanitized, of course). Better yet, we Americans might have just knocked down the mountain to install a Black Angus Steakhouse and reassembled the ice cave at a more convenient location like Vegas or Gilroy. Maybe we baby our citizens too much but these people don't even seem to know what babies are**. So, if you're a sensitive soul like me, know that there is much laughter, incredulous sighing, and confused discussions to be had if you choose to travel around central Europe.

*At the salt mines, the guide would say a ten minute shpeal in German followed by the English “translation” of about one sentence worth of heavily accented information. For some reason I felt like we were getting left out a bit. Jon verified this.
**Although, someone did, for some reason, think it was a decent and appropriate idea to bring their baby to the ice cave. Wow, how surprising that a baby is going to wail and cough the entire time he's being dragged around a place that's as comfortable as a walk in freezer. What a truly excellent idea. At least idiocy exists internationally even if signs don't.

South Germany

This past week we've done a bit of a road trip around the South parts of Germany. It's been generally good and fun and scenic, though we have had a few problems. Actually, we have had one problem: we do not speak German. None at all. We don't read it or write it or understand it in any measure. This has been our main obstacle during our time here which we have overcome with a combination of cowardice and avoidance (and, when we have the time, a German to English dictionary). Let's just say we have been eating a lot of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in our hotel rooms. Ok, this plan was also to save money (yes, we're cheap and unable to communicate – come travel with us!) not just to avoid the German menus and surly restaurant attendants. Though it was a satisfactory solution to both of these obstacles.

Let's discuss the positives since I tend to dwell on the negatives because they are more entertaining and, let's face it, sarcasm does become me*. Germany is a beautiful place. At least the parts we've seen at this time of year. I understand it gets all snowy in the winter (probably also very pretty, but in an “Oh, you don't like to ski? Well then go freeze your ass off anyway” sort of way) and I really don't know what happens in the fall and spring except that I imagine it's something like between summer and winter (gold star for deductive reasoning!). The landscape is never ending hills of green, green, green – trees, forests, meadows, fields, crops, vineyards, and on and on. Just driving around is a real treat.

My favorite thing about the towns we visited was the part of each town called the 'Altstadt' or Old Town which is typically the original area of the town filled with buildings built anywhere from 200-600+ years ago and often surrounded by a big stone wall (and sometimes a disused moat!). This part of the town is typically the tourist center where shops, cafes, and landmarks abound. They are as picturesque as they are delightful** to wander around in. We had the pleasure of exploring the Altstadt areas of Nuremberg, Heidelberg, and Freiburg, which were our main three destinations on this trip.


View Larger Map

The first two cities also have really nice castles overlooking the towns and I would say that Heidelberg Castle (Schloss Heidelberg) has been the highlight so far. Now mostly ruins, this castle was built over a span of 300 years starting in the 1400s and then mostly destroyed by wars in the 1600s and a fire (from lightening striking the bell tower – so Back to the Future!) in the 1700s. Only one part of the castle was rebuilt in the 1800s and we took an excellent tour of the whole thing (in English).

We spent the last few days of this trip exploring the Black Forest in the south west corner of Germany – an area heavily influenced by the French and Swiss due to the close proximity. The Black Forest is really beautiful; an entire region of mountainous greenery with tiny, quaint towns nestled into the valleys. For most of one day we just drove all around, stopping at a waterfall here, a lake there, and lunch at a tiny town in between. And, this is one of the few places where it's actually easier and nicer to have a car than to take a train. We could have asked for better weather since it rained most of the time, but I guess that's why everything's so green! See the latest round of pictures here.
Now we're back in Munich to pick up some cargo (mainly Jon) before we head off to Vienna, Budapest, Krakow (Poland), and then Prague over the next 2 weeks. The adventure continues!

*I am aware that sarcasm is said to be the lowest form of wit, but I also find it to be the highest form of intelligence.
**Yes, I used the word 'delightful', what are you gonna do about it?

Munich

Welcome to Europe. We flew into Munich last Friday the 10th and have been dutifully relaxing, sightseeing, and hanging out with Jon for one solid week. This is my first time in Germany and Kane's first time in Europe altogether. So, we had (and still have) a few things to get used to. Let's start with the basics:

• They speak German here. This was something I had obviously known in an abstract way beforehand, but not really thought about. We were in Australia before; tons of new stuff to get used to but you can always ask someone about it. Now we're sort of on our own when we're not with Jon. Menus, road signs, tram ticket machines - all in German. Though most people secretly speak English, it's embarrassing to ask them to. We're getting by but it's an interesting, and often frustrating change.
• They drive on the right. Hallelujah! Well, sort of. We, obviously, have been conditioned by years of driving in the US to think on the right side of the road. We had only minor problems in Australia, but some things really are just ingrained. Other things, however, we've only experienced while driving in Australia. Example: roundabouts. I am not used to going counterclockwise in a roundabout. This is odd. We are dealing with it.
• It's summertime in the northern hemisphere. The sun rises at...some early time in the morning before I'm awake. It gets dark after 9pm. It's warm and, often, sunny. This is what I'm talking about.

And for some smaller points that are thought provoking and sometimes baffling:

• They do not serve tap water at restaurants. Not as a norm at least. If you ask for water you get disgusting bubbly water. Everyone else drinks beer, soda or juice. It's ridiculous.
• They do not keep their milk refrigerated at the grocery store. In the store aisles, milk comes in little 1 liter boxes which are not refrigerated. Nothing is wrong with this, the milk is boiled or whatever and then sealed, but it's still odd at first.
• People don't smile here. You know when you walk down the street and make eye contact with a stranger and you each give a little half smile to indicate that you are mutually friendly people even though you don't know each other? They don't do that here. Sometimes they stare sans smile (love the alliteration, don't you) but rarely a smirking stranger for no reason.
• There are very strict noise laws. In Munich, you cannot be loud or disruptive, even in your own home (provided that it disturbs others), after 10pm (till 6am) or on Sundays. This includes loud music, mowing your lawn, hammering, and possibly even running your washing machine. It does not seem to include the heinously loud and frequent police sirens reminiscent of the Nazi era. Those can go anytime they want.

Other than taking in the oddities that make Munich the place it is, we've been sightseeing rather dedicatedly. At least for us. Here's a rundown of what we've seen so far:

Saturday - Gay Pride Parade. They know how to queer it up here.
Sunday - Tollwood Festival. I don't know what it was a festival for, but there were adequate amounts of people, beer, stalls of food, and nick knacks. It was good.
Monday - Walking Tour. Free walking tour of Munich with a little bit of history and a lot of standing in the sun. Got to see a bit of the city though.
Tuesday - Nymphenburg Palace. Big mansion from the 1600s. Pretty nice.
Wednesday - Day at Jon's house to plan and book our next week of travel around south Germany. Also bought a GPS.
Thursday - Pick up the car and tour at Dachau Concentration Camp. Acquired the car with no problems, Dachau was interesting.
Friday - Neuschwanstein Castle and Hohenschwangau Castle. The first one is the really famous German castle that the Disney castle was based on. They were both nice but I had expected more for some reason. No idea how to pronounce the latter.
Saturday (today) - Deutsches Museum. Apparently it's huge and very in depth...unleash the nerds!

And that's been our stay so far; here are the pics that made the cut. We're having a nice time and the weather has been warm and sunny for most of the time, though it decided to start raining yesterday and today. We leave tomorrow (Sunday) for our five day road trip around south Germany and return to Munich next Friday.

Spendings - The Dirt

Yeah, you want to know the dirt on our trip, don't you? You don't care about the Sydney Opera House or Kakadu National Park. You think our pics are mediocre and just browse through them as you peruse your usual internet sites. You scoff when I mis-spell things or trip over a punctuation mark. You are overwhelmed when you log on after two weeks and I have 17 new posts that you will never catch up on and, frankly, don't much care to read. I mean, they're boring. Documentation of the day to day activities of traveling - come on! Write something interesting! Make something up if you have to, right?

Well, this entry is for the prying minds, the curious cats, the chatty Kathys. This one will tell you all about the bottom line, the real deal. So, the question remains: how much money did we spend on this trip around Australia? You already looked down, didn't you. The pie chart is just too tantalizing to resist - I know better than most*. Well, you may as well look now if you haven't already:
Let's analyze, shall we? We left June 8 and got back July 4. That means the trip was 26 days** long, which translates to $317 per day for both of us, or $158/day each. It sounds expensive, doesn't it? It was, damn it, that wasn't a trick question. Regardless, if you are acquainted with Kane and me, you are aware that we are relatively frugal. Not so frugal that I would resort to, say, camping or eating at McDonald's, but we're certainly budget conscious. As evidenced by the very existence (and accuracy) of the pie chart.

I don't have a lot of excuses; this country is expensive. I was impressed to see that almost a quarter of our expenses were for activities - I had not realized we had paid so much money for tours, cruises, etc. The bulk of our activity money was spent on: Fraser Island Tour; two Whitsunday Island boat/snorkeling tours; Reggie Watts tickets; the Australia Zoo; Great Barrier Reef Cruise and Snorkeling tour at Port Douglas; and two river cruises in Kakadu. To be fair, the Fraser Island trip was a two day deal that included one night accommodation and food and accounts for about a quarter of the activities costs. I just need to take deep breaths and keep saying the "once in a lifetime" mantra to keep calm with these ridiculous prices.

Transportation and accommodation were the next two big hitters - we rented a car for the entire trip which was just plain expensive and also very nice. It cost an average of $64/day for the car, but a lot of that was because they charge you a whole lot extra for pickup one place and drop off another - not really sure why. Accommodation averaged out to about $62/night which is about as good as you'll get here. We stayed in hostels most nights; got nice hotels in two places for 6 nights total. Totally worth it. Plus, you have to account for the fact that we weren't paying rent during this, and our rent here was $2173 a month. So, really, we were saving money on accommodation as compared to the past year and a half. Like how I worked the numbers there?

Food is probably where we could have saved the most money - we ate out almost every lunch and dinner. We tried not to go to super expensive places, but a standard meal for dinner here is typically between $20-$30 per plate which just racks up a huge bill really quickly. We did almost every breakfast in our hostel/hotel with cereal and powdered milk which probably saved us a few hundred bucks. Flights were the next offender, exacerbated by the trip to Darwin. Could have saved a few hundred bucks each if we had just come back to Melbourne from Cairns.

The stragglers are gas, stuff, and other. I was impressed that gas was such a small chunk of our spendings; we spent $513 driving 5719km (=3800 miles) for an average of about 33 miles to the gallon per Kane's calculations. Note also that gas here is between $4.60 and $5.60 per gallon (though it's sold in liters so the price doesn't sound so heinous). "Stuff" just means random crap we bought which mostly consisted of a bag I acquired and towels we purchased to replace the ones we left at a hostel, in addition to books, magnets, drug store supplies, internet, laundry, post cards, etc. "Other" was a category that I see was not used correctly as it also includes laundry and internet. If I cared more, I might fix that. I think we'll live.

So there you have it. You now know how much poorer we are from this trip around Australia. It was good times; can't really put a price tag on experiences and all that, right? I'll just keep telling myself that as I mourn my bank account. And that wasn't even the start of our troubles...Europe will surely trick us out of the rest of the money we have so dedicatedly saved up over the last year. Sigh. Save, save, save...spennnnndddd!!!

*I freaking love pie charts. In case it wasn't clear in the body of the post.

**I'm not counting July 4 as a day on the actual trip since we arrived back in Melbourne at 7am.

Darwin and Kakadu

The final leg of our Australian Road Trip was spent in the north of the Northern Territory - right at the top of the middle of the country. We flew from Cairns to Darwin on June 30 and spent three days driving in a loop to see Kakadu National Park and Litchfield National Park. Kakadu is a pretty famous park that we had looked into a long time ago, so we sort of tacked it onto the end of our trip since we probably won't make the effort to get over there ever again.

And, to be honest, I wouldn't really recommend it. Kakadu was nice and, actually, Litchfield was really nice, but Darwin is quite a hole and the effort and expense to get to that part of the country wasn't really worth it for me. It was nice, don't get me wrong, but it wasn't spectacular and it's in the middle of freaking nowhere so it sort of needs to be spectacular for me to make that kind of effort. That's my two cents.

An interesting fact: Darwin is closer to the capital cities of 5 other countries than it is to the capital of Australia. Think about that one! That kind of fact is probably true for places in Europe where the countries are all small and smashed together, but Darwin is almost 3000 miles from Australia's capital (Canberra) and there isn't really a city to speak of near Darwin for probably 1000 miles. It's like if Seattle was a city of 120,000 people and the closest city with over 5000 people was Denver. This country is so ridiculously sparse!

Kakadu is actually a really interesting place because the difference between the dry, "cold" season (now) and the warm, wet season (December-April-ish) is immense. The climate is tropical but in the dry season the place is a desert. This was the "cold" season and the days were easily over 90 degrees F. It was sort of miserable actually; I cannot imagine the horror of wet season heat and humidity. Anyway, in the wet season much of the park can be underwater as all the rivers flood. Some ridiculous percent of the world's birds migrate there to breed in the wet season and apparently it's just an entirely different place. It sounds like it would actually be much more interesting in the wet, but I would most likely only be happy viewing it from a temperature controlled bubble. So, maybe it was better that we saw the boring dry.

Since we were there in the dry, we did the standard crocodile river cruises (saw many crocs) and went to the Aboriginal rock art sites, which were ok. Like I said, it was nice, but not really worth traveling across the country. Litchfield National Park, though only large enough to fill one day with activity, was really nice. There are a series of waterfalls and creeks that are safe and warm to swim in, in addition to being beautiful. We had a good time Friday exploring all the sites that Litchfield had to offer. We even swam in a lake - how uncharacteristic of us! And, Kane did not get seasick, thank god (I was beginning to think that a bathtub might make him sick...). Here are the pics from Kakadu and Litchfield.

Friday night we did not need a hotel because our flight back to Melbourne was at 2:25am. Yargh. After a drawn out dinner and coffee, we watched a movie in our car in the airport parking lot until it was time to check in at 1am. We arrived safely back in freezing Melbourne (in our sad flip flops and t-shirts) on the 4th at 7am and have been staying with Marc and Alana again since. But we only get a small break - we fly to Munich on Thursday at which point I will become...EURO ANGIE!!!

Cairns and Port Douglas

We're actually back in Melbourne now staying with our friends again as of yesterday the 4th. Since we did not have internet access for the last 4 days of our trip, I will go back a bit and post about the last few places we went. Cairns (pronounced "Cans" by Australians) and Port Douglas are towns in the tropical far north of Queensland in Australia, approximately 3500 kilometers (2500 miles) north of Melbourne via the coastal route and were the final destinations of our 3-week long road trip up the east coast.


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Cairns is the larger town (150,000 people approx) in the area but thankfully we only stayed for one night because we didn't much like it. It's just a small port town and there is a lively tourist area with endless restaurants and shops, but the feel of it is a bit dingy and Thailand-esque. We didn't hate it, but it wasn't the best. Fortunately, Port Douglas was far nicer. We made the hour or so drive from Cairns on Saturday (27 June) and arrived in what might be my favorite place of the whole trip.

PD is a tiny little town that is basically just an upscale tourist trap. The key word here is upscale. So many tourist towns are run down and/or dominated by drunken 18 year-olds and that just makes them boring for us old farts. I enjoy a nice atmosphere, decent restaurants, perhaps some nice hikes or museums, and friendly, respectable clientele. Port Douglas has all of these things. And on top of that we scored a super cheap hotel ($85/night compared to $99 for a room with a bathroom at the hostel!) that was completely perfect:
On Sunday we partook in the single most expensive activity of the trip: the $200/person outer reef pontoon cruise. This was quite a plush tour that included an hour and a half boat ride to and from a stationary pontoon at the outer barrier reef. On the pontoon we had a buffet lunch, unlimited snorkeling access, submersible boat cruises, access to an underwater viewing platform, and a variety of additional activities available for hire (snorkeling or scuba diving lessons, helicopter rides, etc.). Despite the cost (or more likely because of it), it was really nice. Of course Kane was sick the whole time - and this time I think we may have learned our lesson - so he didn't enjoy it quite as much as I did.

Just look at the video on their website:

We took advantage of the underwater submersible boat trip, the underwater viewing platform, and, of course, the buffet (twice). And I did a bit of snorkeling while Kane laid down on the picnic table benches. It was a really nice tour and I even got to pet a giant fish! Here's me from the underwater viewing platform in my Lycra blue stinger suit:
See more pictures in this photo album (combined with the Whitsundays photos).

The second day we took a leisurely drive up to the Daintree rainforest where we took a river cruise to see some crocs and birds. It was fun and the weather was great, if a bit hot. We took it pretty easy on our final day and got back to PD for an early night. Monday we were back to Cairns to return our car and catch a flight to Darwin for our 3 day trip around Kakadu National Park.

Whitsunday Islands

Now this is the vacation that I was imagining. Airlie Beach is the gateway town to the Whitsundays and it's an actual tourist town with (wait for it) decent places to eat and shops that (gasp) stay open after dark. Imagine that. If you want to see Australia's tropical destinations START HERE. And if you can afford it, stay on Daydream Island:
More pics here for Whitsundays and Port Douglas.

We did snorkeling the first day; Kane got too sick to hop back in the water at the 2^nd stop near Hook Island (the prescription pills and pressure point bracelets seemed to not help much, though at least he didn't throw up). I'm still not sure why we keep coming back to the ocean for activities when neither one of us can handle it. It's actually funny; we end up on a boat or ferry and just look at each other and say, “What the hell are we doing?” But really, it's hard to avoid if you really want to see what the country has to offer; the Great Barrier Reef is pretty famous. And we got to see our first bit of it snorkeling around on Wednesday. Neat coral formations, pretty fish; pretty much what you see on tv but with murkier waters and less brilliant colors. It was very cool though.

The 2^nd location they took us to had no coral (or it was way deeper than you could see) but a whole lot of pretty fish that fluttered all around us as people from the boat threw in nibbles. Kane spent this half hour hovering near the edge of the boat trying to contain urges to vomit, but I spent it in the water following around a fish about half my size and trying to stay out from directly under and/or down current from Kane. Poor Kane. That was a bad idea for us.

The next day though, we went on a tour more suited to our style. And I use the word “tour” loosely since it wasn't really a tour as much as ferry rides to two islands and a boring guide to optionally follow around while on the islands. There was all sorts of stuff to do on these paradise islands but they all cost money so we sat by the pool, read our books, took alternating naps, and dipped our feet in the hot tub. That's what I'm talking about. We saw a wallaby on each island and a bunch of birds in the trees and begging for food.

The one island (Daydream, go there) has a man made, ocean fed lagoon where they have brought in coral reef, fish, stingrays, and sharks to hang out. It's like a little underwater zoo where the animals are as pampered as the guests. So cool. And, I'm not sure what their summers are like but the winter that we have experienced these three days has been sunny, about 80-85 Fahrenheit with a slight breeze. Sounds terrible, doesn't it? Why the HELL did we move to Melbourne?

Road Trip Pictures

Since uploading pictures takes a good internet connection and a bit of time, it's a bit difficult to get the pics up as we go. But, do not fret, I have been taking plenty and filing and labeling them ready for Picasa albums to be uploaded at the first opportunity. That day has finally come, thanks to wireless internet at Cairns YHA. Please see my Picasa site to peruse the new albums, or see the links below for the individual albums.

Sydney pics from June 10-13

Sydney to Brisbane pics including all stops in between: Terrigal, Newcastle, Byron Bay, Gold Coast and Brisbane from June 13-19

Australia Zoo pics from June 19

Fraser Island pics from June 20-21

Enjoy!

What Engineers Do on the Beach

Construction Constraints:

1. Kane must not be required to move the location of his buttocks. The initial location of the placement of his posterior shall remain constant through design, documentation, and construction.
2. Angie shall not be required, at any time, to put her feet in the water. Only minimal contact between the lake and her hands shall be permitted to occur.
3. Construction shall begin promptly at 1:30pm and end at or before 2:20pm the same day so that we don't miss our bus ride away from the lake.
4. The construction method is to be “design/build” such that building commences before design is finished to use time most efficiently.
5. Hands and feet are to be the only tools used for construction.

Design Constraints:

1. Two engineers are the only ones available for design of this structure therefore it will most likely be relatively devoid of any architectural worth.
2. Sand and water are the only materials to be used.
3. The general description of the structure(s) must fall into the category of “silica fortress”, more commonly known as a “sand castle”.
4. No parapets are to be used since everyone knows they are ugly and inherently unstable.
5. No documentation shall be required since no forethought need be put into any of the design decisions.

The final product of 45 minutes of harvesting sand and dripping sandy blobs into little piles:

Ok, so maybe regular engineers just sit and enjoy the beach like normal people. Maybe they even get in for a swim even though the weather isn't quite warm enough and the water is too cold. Maybe they don't hate sand in their shoes and pockets and don't sort of wish that someone would build a concrete patio with some deck chairs to sit on.

I don't think Kane and I should be allowed to go to the beach, we're just too ungrateful. But, at least we occupied our hands and minds with more familiar activities, however unconventional. (Lake Mackenzie, Fraser Island, Saturday June 20)

Fraser Island

Friday, after exploring the Australia Zoo, we continued our drive up to Hervey Bay. Hervey Bay itself is nothing special, but it is the closest town to Fraser Island, the world's largest sand island. We booked a four wheel drive bus tour to take us around the island back in the beginning of May and, to be honest, I sort of forgot what the tour was all about. But we were reacquainted with it this weekend.

Our tour began with a pickup from our hostel at 7:45am on Saturday. They drove us to the ferry terminal where we ferried over to the island (about a half hour trip) and then got on 4WD bus which drove us across the island to the resort where we would be staying the night (resort is a kind word, more like motel with dining hall). We picked up a few passengers there then proceeded to spend the rest of the day at two fresh water lakes and taking a walk through the only sub-tropical rainforest growing in sand in the whole world. I realize there are a lot of qualifiers there, but the place was still neat. The freshwater lakes were very nice – one more so than the other we thought – but it was a bit too cold for swimming. The outside temperature was probably in the mid 70's with a bit of a breeze and the water was also around 74 or so degrees (Fahrenheit). So no swimming for us, but other people did.

We had buffet lunch and dinner at the resort that day and then spent the night watching a dumb movie called In Good Company in our room since there isn't much to do on the island at night. Sunday morning we left at 8am after a buffet breakfast and headed up the coast about 50 miles to see a number of sights along the way including a rusted old shipwreck (highlight for me), a big rock outcropping with excellent views of the island, some naturally formed pools of water just next to the ocean, and a fresh water creek that you can walk up (but it was too cold of water for me – about 67 Fahrenheit).
The pace was a bit slow for us, but that's because they tend to give you a lot of time at the waterside where Kane and I tend to get bored (we're not beach people, sorry). But we had fun and I think the tour was a great way to see the island since we really wouldn't have known what we were doing if we had rented our own 4WD vehicle. And we got to see a wild dingo as we were driving back to the ferry home! The island is famous for their dingos since they're one of the purest breeds in existence because their genes have not been altered by interbreeding with other dogs (they're isolated on the island).

Now we're off to the Whitsunday Islands to get our first taste of the Great Barrier Reef!

Brisbane

We arrived in Brisbane Wednesday* night after a nice drive through the Gold Coast from Byron Bay. Brisbane is the third largest city in Australia (approx 2 million) and is located just about midway up the east coast of the country at the south end of a state called Queensland. Queensland is home of the Great Barrier Reef and pretty much all of the deadliest things you hear about in Australia including, but not limited to spiders, snakes, sharks, jellyfish, etc. Queensland has a tropical/subtropical climate which supposedly means that I won't be cold anymore on this trip. The wet, humid, hot season is their summertime (December – February) and the winter is supposed to be more temperate.

Brisbane is a nice city reminiscent of Melbourne. My initial thought was that it's really just a toned down version of Melbourne: bigger city but still not bursting with activity like Sydney, a nice downtown, a river running through, not really any big attractions to see. We spent Wednesday night walking around the part of downtown that was still open and then watching Xmen 2 in our room (don't hate - we do what we want on our vacation!). We turned in for the night just after realizing that we left our towels at the Byron Bay hostel. Oops.

Thursday we had all day in Brisbane which we used to mostly just walk around and see the city. Like I said before, there aren't really any huge attractions in Brisbane (one of the reasons you probably haven't heard of it if you reside in the US of A) but it's a nice place. We went to the museum in city hall (which sort of sucked), bought new towels downtown, took a nice walk through South Bank (cute with shops, cafes, and an awesome man-made beach that must be totally jam packed when it's not under construction), and then continued up through their botanical gardens, which are nice and populated with possums who are only mildly scared of people.

We had an excellent lunch at a place Kane picked out then took the City Cat – public transport system on the river that runs through the city, very cool – back the center of downtown and walked back to our hostel. We finished the night by driving around – there wasn't hardly any traffic! - and having dinner at a truly excellent Turkish restaurant in the West End. I think Brisbane would be a really nice city to live in: good climate (though I suspect it's a bit muggy in the summer), nice size, general good feel to it.

We took Friday morning to explore one of the many wildlife parks in the area. I wanted to go to one with the largest koala breeding programs in Australia, but Kane wanted to see the Australia Zoo – the (previous) home of Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter. So we did what Kane wanted (for once) and drove up to the infamous park. This was by far the best zoo I've ever seen. The animal habitats were stunning and the entire place was in excellent order. We had a great time seeing the crocs, patting the roos, and taking pics of the elephants, echidnas, and everybody else. I did feel a bit Jurassic Park-esque with the double fences around the croc areas and the awesome warning signs:
Seriously though, seeing all the Steve Irwin tribute memorabilia made me a bit sad – I feel like his death was a real loss to the world, and to his cute family. At least his dream lives on – those crocks are huge! P.S. - pics will be added to Picasa soon.

*Ok so I'm way behind on the blogging. I apologize. It's been a bit hard to find good internet, especially at reasonable prices. And these entries take some finesse people!

Sydney to Brisbane

Last Saturday we left Sydney and started making our way to Brisbane, where we arrived Wednesday night. Even though we are enjoying ourselves, I have to say that there's not a whole lot to do between Sydney and Brisbane and even though Brisbane is Australia's 3^rd largest city, not a whole lot there either. Here's a bit of a play by play of our stops along the way:

Terrigal (like terrible but with a "G")

Saturday we hurried up to Terrigal from Sydney to meet up with our friend Janna who also happens to be a travel agent at Flight Centre. As mentioned before, she helped us book our rental car in Europe and we needed to be there to sign the paperwork at 11am. She even went into work on her day off to help us finish the reservation! In addition, of course, to having us as guests in her home that night. She actually lives with her boyfriend Dom (we met them when we were traveling in Thailand – we bonded over car sickness; they also stayed with us for a night in Melbourne a few months ago) in Dom's parents' sweet house. Terrigal reminds me of a small San Luis Obispo – it's a little beach town with a nice feel to it and a cute little strip of cafes by the water. Of course if Janna hadn't been there we would have never stopped to see it, but it was a great respite for a day.

Newcastle

Sunday we made our way up to “Newy”, home of the infamous Silverchair (dreamy sigh). And apparently they still live there on and off, which I find commendable. Aside from the “Silverchair Plays Home Town” poster that greeted us in the lobby of our hostel, we saw no evidence of their presence at all, which I found somewhat disappointing*. We spent Monday, a beautiful sunny day, wandering on the jetty and around Fort Scratchley – where cannons were fired at a Japanese submarine during WWII - and peeking into the cute boutiques on the main drag, Darby Street. We also had a wander through the free animal sanctuary a bit outside of town - very nice!

Byron Bay

We only spent one night in this sleepy little village since we spent all of Tuesday driving from Newy (approx 8 hours/450 miles), but we did manage to hike out to the lighthouse on the peninsula on Wednesday morning - the most easterly point on the continent! This is a total surfer town that isn't particularly exciting if you don't enjoy beach activities (yep we're lame). Cafes and long haired hippies abound, but Wednesday afternoon we were off to Brisbane.

Gold Coast – Surfer's Paradise

The Gold Coast is a strip of little surf towns turned tourist havens where development has not been restricted resulting in strings of huge resorts, condos, casinos and the like. People compare it to Vegas but I didn't think it was anywhere near on par with Sin City herself. We drove through the towns and stopped in the hub of Surfer's Paradise which seemed to me more like a poor man's Waikiki beach. It's made entirely for tourists and caters most famously to spring break-esque gallivanting and debauchery for teenagers. Needless to say it probably isn't really our type of place, but in the day I found it to be rather nice. Shops and restaurants line the streets interspersed with tacky high rise apartments and hotels. Everything is over the top and has a sort of vomit-recently-cleaned-from-the-sidewalk feel to it, but I found it to be kind of fun. At least there were people there and things to do. I think it could be good if you know what to expect. It did prompt us to be as cheesy as possible and eat and the ridiculously overpriced (and over-rated) Hard Rock Cafe. At least they play music videos to groove to while you eat.

And from SP we continued on to Brisbane, a proper city (finally)...to be continued. (Posting from crappy internet connection in Hervey Bay and hence not able to keep up with posting photos or info as much as I'd like, but, I take what I can get!)

*Yes I did sort of hope for a Silverchair museum or memorabilia center or free poster or something. And let's face it, I did hope that maybe we would see the guys having a casual coffee in our local cafe and give him a high five. Not all dreams come true...sniffle...

Sydney

Our glorious return to Sydney...wasn't exactly glorious. Sydney is a truly great city - I would honestly say one of the best that I've ever seen. I would happily return again and spend time exclusively here, and I hope that someday we do.

We ended up spending a lot of time outside of Sydney with Kelvin and Yan Shih, which was good, and even more time trying to get our car rental for Europe sorted, which was not as good but certainly necessary. We made the mistake of waiting too long to rent the Europe car, and have been pestering our friend Janna, who is a travel agent near Sydney, to help us. And, alas, another friend with a tiny halo over her head, she got it all sorted and we signed the paperwork and paid all our money and now have a car in Europe.

But, it was at the expense of seeing a lot of Sydney. We did the show at the opera house the first night (see previous entry), then spent most of the second day looking up info about the Europe car and securing accommodation in the city (since we decided it would be better for us to actually see some of Sydney from a more central location than Kelvin and Yan Shih's house). The second night we walked back to the opera house to take some night pics of the neat patterns of light they project onto the structure which are really neat. See?:Our second day we finally secured the booking of the car over the phone with Janna and then went to lunch in the city with Kelvin. We made it to the museum near Hyde Park (which was ok) and then wandered over to Darling Harbour for a snack before heading out to the suburbs (in heavy traffic) to hang out with Kelvin and Yan Shih again for our last night.

We had to leave early Saturday to get to Janna's office before noon to sign Europe car paperwork. And now it's finally done! We've been hanging out with Janna for a day in a town called Terrigal north of Sydney and later today (Sunday) leave for Newcastle.

Reggie Watts

On Wednesday, the day we arrived in Sydney, we had bought tickets to see Reggie Watts at the Opera House with Kelvin and Yan Shih. Kelvin and Kane went to high school together and we stayed with them once upon a time when we first arrived in this land. We saw Reggie on Good News Week (Australian show previously mentioned many times) - see video below for a sample since it's hard to describe what exactly he does. When we first saw him on tv, we looked him up and found that he was playing in one of the smaller theaters in the opera house on the first day we were there!



His show was very strange. His main show included music sort of like beat boxing but often with piano also; he had an amazing voice and made really interesting little songs. I found the whole show to be hilarious and awesome but definitely very odd. His whole routine was a mix of a type of stand up comedy yet-to-be-invented and performing neat digital-style songs like in the video. The comedy was really just him talking, often in changing accents, completely nonsensically. He talks like he's giving a lecture on something important, using big words, etc, but he's just rambling about nothing. And occasionally he throws in an awesome phrase like, "kangaroos are one of the few animals that look like they should be wearing hats", which cracked me the heck up. Overall, I rated it very highly and would recommend him to anyone who likes weird stuff.