Sky Mall

I kid you not when I tell you that the Sky Mall catalog was my in flight entertainment all the way back from New York to California. Kane and I had separate flights (he flew to Seattle) and there were no personal TVs on Delta's finest (surprise). Fortunately, we customers are granted something far more exciting than a choice between Two and a Half Men and Journey to the Center of the Earth; the Sky Mall catalog provides more than just useless crap to the people who have everything.

I honestly spent hours just flipping the pages of this magazine, happily skipping over the opportunity to review the emergency procedures for a Boeing 747. If we're going down, I don't think my knowledge of the proper crash sitting position will help much; I'm sure kicking and screaming will suffice, no further research is required. But Sky Mall, however, did deserve my attention. I read description after colorful description for completely ridiculous and utterly useless goods (and services!). My Stephanie Meyer book would have wait; the literature in the Sky Mall catalog could not be ignored.

I think the best way to convey to you my feelings on the many items offered in the Sky Mall catalog is just to pick a select few and review them with you. Like any retailer of fine goods, Sky Mall is also fully available online, god bless them. Let's get started.

Do you love the crust of a home-baked cake? Are you tired of putting up with slices of a homemade chocolate brownie that don't have the delicious crunchy edges? Well, you need suffer no longer, Sky Mall offers the Edge Baking Pan: a pan with a snake shaped void so that every piece of your baked goods has at least two yummy crispy sides*!
Next up is another kitchen-oriented item that can save you time and paper! Oh, well maybe not paper since it can also print - this is a Voice Recognition Grocery List Maker. I don't know about you, but I am sick and tired of the simplicity and ease of writing my grocery list on any scrap of paper laying around. I have been waiting for a device to wrestle with such that this inane task can be turned into something adequately high-tech and complicated. I mean, you can even manage two separate lists simultaneously on this device! I wonder if they provide technical support when you go insane from using it?
Still in the kitchen but moving to the pantry, I pose this quandary to you: Are you overweight but you freaking love cookies? Well, have I got the diet for you! This is the Hollywood Cookie Diet that lets you eat as many cookies as you want and still lose weight! Nevermind that you need to eat a cookie instead of a meal and that these aren't just any cookies, they are "packed with fiber, protein and 13 essential vitamins and minerals" so I bet they're only slightly less delicious than mom's. But, it says that Debbie lost 5 pounds in 3 days, so it must work, right?
Let's move now to your watch management strategy. What, you don't have any form of watch management currently operating in your life? Shame on you. Fortunately, Sky Mall is here to help. To prevent you from drowning in the sea of watches you no doubt own and have flung carelessly all over your home and office, SM offers the very civilized and sleek Watch Storage Case. Stop losing watch after watch every day and instead catalog them by color and date purchased in your new extremely unnecessary organizer! Anal retentiveness not included.
Into the bedroom - oh la la: do you lay on your bed at night, trying to read a book or do your taxes and you are just profoundly uncomfortable? And yet you don't want to acquire any more pillows or simply move to into a nearby chair? Well, SM offers an item for you - an extremely bulky yet only marginally more comfortable Superior Comfort Bed Lounger. You know it's good when they had to put the words "superior comfort" in the title. After that, the thing just sells itself!
Are you cheesy? Do you think really ridiculous and childish things are neat? Are you a redneck? If you answer yes to any of these questions, you may be interested in these new Superman Returns Cufflinks. Because even though SM is fairly certain that anyone with the desire (read: nerve) to wear these most certainly would never be wearing a suit, they sell them with a bold face anyway! Clever, Sky Mall, very clever.
Now, do you like the president? Maybe you voted for him and the day he won was the best day of your life. Maybe you cut out every article in every magazine and newspaper pertaining to Mr. Obama and his family and you keep a scrapbook as if he were your own dear son. If President-stalking is your style, you may be interested in this framed artist's sketch of The First Couple. Sky Mall understands that sometimes you just need to be closer to someone famous, even when the police just don't get it. Now the Obamas can grace your mantle or bedroom wall, replacing many of your actual relatives who just aren't as pretty or interesting.
As a refreshing interlude, let's explore some of the "health and wellness" items on offer at SM. These are some of the most entertaining products, I have to say. The massage section alone provides nearly endless comedic fodder. For example, the Head Spa Massager looks like an item direct out of the movie Tron. "For all your futuristic head-gear needs. Borg laser eye-sight sold separately."

Then there's the Vibrating Head Massager, which, except for the picture of the woman ecstatically demonstrating the item, one would have no idea what to do with this thing. Looks a bit like something out of War of the Worlds or the little gadgets that chase people in Fahrenheit 451. I'm gonna not put that near my head, thank you very much.

Another massage must-have on SM is the Mobile Massage System which not only looks like an attacking amoeba-like space alien, but the product description appears to be for another item altogether. Not really selling it here, guys. Though I'm sure, gauging from all the other spectacular items for sale, it's top notch.
One more self-improvement item is the Endless Pool Swimming Machine. We've all seen these advertised on infomercials and I don't even think they're too terrible of an idea, but I just cannot imagine making a $21,000 purchase from the Sky Mall catalog. Seriously, not my first choice of places to buy my high-end never-to-be-used exercise equipment. But maybe that's just me.

And now for my favorite health and wellness item and perhaps my overall favorite SM catalog item: The Personal Infrared Sauna! This gem of an invention uses "in-floor radiant heat to help improve the immune system by increasing the blood flow, starting at the feet". It improves your immune system to sit in a particleboard box in your living room - who would have guessed! And as an added bonus, you do not look at all ridiculous assembling or using this miracle in modern technology! I do hope they include instructions to help you get in and out of the thing; it doesn't exactly look user friendly. It does look a little like something the Nazis may have used, but maybe I'm just being outrageous.
Ok, so you weren't sold by the massage amoeba or the sauna box, but have a look at this item. What do you get for the person who has everything - it's an age old question, right? Well, how about an Executive Health Evaluation?! From what I can tell, this is a $3,500 doctor's visit. Granted, it's a "5-star treatment" at one of their "beautiful, contemporary centers", but I'm really not seeing how this can cost so much. Oh, I see, maybe because "benefits may include: decreased risk of age-related disease, improved muscle tone, and sharper thinking"? I'm pretty sure eating an apple may include these benefits also, but I'm no doctor. Start forking out the cash, friend.

So what if this "person who has everything" is smart, maybe a bit geeky? You're pretty sure they won't use the exercise equipment and they won't appreciate the Superman cufflinks (what a shame!). Maybe they have an entire wall of their house just empty and waiting for something heinously huge and non-artistic to fill the void? In that case, the Largest Crossword Puzzle in the world might do the trick. I've just gotten really bored of crossword puzzles that were on normal sized paper that can be completed in manageable setting. I'm pretty sure I want to adorn my home or office with an oversized tribute to my intellectual superiority and to stand in front of this shrine day after day to complete a puzzle which no mere mortal could finish. I am great and I would like all the friends I don't have to make note of this when I don't invite them over to my house. Nice khaki pants, crossword puzzle model man, and good choice at turning your face away from the camera.
Ok, you could see how I could go on and on here. This catalog just provides so much amusement that I just could not contain myself. I was going to continue with discussions of the Skyrest Travel Pillow, which, though it is actually quite a practical solution, would be hilarious to see on an airplane (see the picture on the link). Or the A Christmas Story Leg Lamp, for the dude who's way too obsessed with that movie to the point of being creepy about it. Or the baffling 6 Piece Puzzle Mat, because a regular roll-up mat is just too uncool. This catalog is just chock full of ridiculousness and it's freaking great.

Side note - if you happen to own any of the items that I have mocked, please do not take offense. I actually thought twice about buying the Marshmallow Shooter because I firmly believe that marshmallows should have the capacity to be projected across any given space at any given moment. We all have and love ridiculous things, it's ok to laugh about it. I mean, someone's gotta buy this stuff right?

*Kane actually wants one of these, he hates the undercooked center of a brownie.
Note: All photos courtesy of the Sky Mall website: www.skymall.com

These Vagabond Shoes

I finally did it: I bought new shoes. I got them at a DSW in New York and I threw away my old Nikes that I’ve had for about 5 years. You may recall me complaining about the old shoes once or twice (or, if you’re Kane, 1000 times); they were so worn out that they were becoming quite useless. They still had the parts that allowed the shoe to physically hold onto my foot and I think that’s the only reason why I still wore them. The underside was so worn down that little flaps had formed that scraped when I walked. Water could get in from the bottom and holes near the toes on top. The inside heel was worn completely away and a piece of whatever’s-inside-a-shoe would flip over and stab my heel every time I put my feet in. It was getting to be ridiculous.

I had refused to buy new shoes in Australia because they are heinously expensive as compared to the States. I tried to buy shoes before we left for Australia, 2 years ago, but ended up running out of time before I found any I liked. I also tried to purchase some on our visit to California last year, but again could not find any I liked. I was being too picky, I will admit. And I paid for it with increasingly decrepit shoes. But alas, DSW provides.

I didn’t want to buy anything in NY because it would just mean I’d have to carry it back to CA, which I thought was sort of silly since there’s pretty much all the same stuff for purchase here. So I restrained myself in the block-long Macy’s. But if I replaced my old shoes I wouldn’t have anything additional since I would just chuck them on the spot. Flawless logic - let’s buy things.

After searching through the mile-long row of women’s athletic shoes at DSW, I became painfully aware that my feet do not fit into “normal-sized” women’s shoes anymore. At least not athletic shoes. I used to wear a size 10, but apparently not anymore. Either the shoes are smaller or my feet or bigger but either way, it’s not working. Apparently it’s inconceivable to the DSW at Union Square that a full grown woman would have feet this large. My feet are so ridiculously oversized that I must be some sort of rare phenomenon - like big foot (ha) or a yeti, minus all the hair on the feet.

Kane finally suggested that I just skip over one aisle and try on some men's shoes. He pointed out that there really isn't much difference between men's and women's athletic shoes except that the women's ones are smaller (detrimentally so, apparently) and sometimes have pink on them. The men's shoes weren't so bad, really, except that I ended up having to buy a size that really did look like it should only fit on a man. My shoes are shown to the left.

I wear a men's size 9.5 in Asics shoes. A European size 43.5. Seriously, ogre in the house.

I decided to get Asics because they make gel shoes. It's new (ish), it's high tech, it's super comfy. I tried on some Adidas and they felt nice. So did the New Balances. But the Asics gel shoes were a step above (pun certainly intended). They made the others feel like a slab of cardboard under my tender feet; the gel felt like walking on a fluffy feather bed. Plus, Kane mentioned that his dad swears by them. Not that his dad "likes" Asics gel shoes, but that he indeed places his right hand onto the shoes and swears. Maybe that would be "swears on them", but whatever. The man is serious about his gel. And I don't argue with an ex-All American Wrestler when it comes to athletic shoes - I just hand over my credit card.

My Little Town Blues Are Melting Away

I would like to start by saying that hanging around this city for three full days had the Frank Sinatra song stuck in my head indefinitely. I felt like such a goober walking around singing that. Here, you can have a listen to the inside of my head for the last few days:



But on to more interesting fare: Our Three Days In New York City. We arrived in NY on Oct 20 after an eight hour flight from Dusseldorf (following 2 hr layover and flight from Munich) without personal televisions. If making someone sit in a ridiculously small chair for eight hours with no entertainment available isn’t a crime, it should be. But instead of pressing charges, we paid good money for those seats.

Fortunately, the plane arrived at JFK at the agreed time and our luggage came through, which I suppose were the main parts of the agreement. The flight landed at around 5pm, we had our luggage an hour later, and two or so hours after that we were finally in Manhattan approaching our sad excuse for a hostel. It was a long day.

But we were jazzed; we were back in our home country and only a few days away from being really home on the West Coast. I’ll talk about home later, now it’s time to discuss New York. I’ve technically been to NY when I was about 12, but I think that hardly counts since I don’t remember much, wasn’t in charge of anything we did, and had no concept of the layout of the city. Plus, I don’t think I had quite the introspective capabilities to analyze foreign lands (yes, I’m considering the east coast foreign – it is!) based on their customs and social practices when I was a pre-teen. I did know how to identify a crazy person though, and it’s true that they are still here.

New York City is a truly interesting place. It seems that when you smoosh a million or so people onto a tiny island things just go a bit nuts. Population density is proportional to insanity, I have found (I can make a chart if that would help). And NY is no different; it may, in fact, be the leader of the pack. More crazies per capita than anywhere I’ve ever been, that’s for sure. And I don’t just mean homeless people in your face or drunk teen-agers shouting on the streets (though I’m sure these can be found aplenty), I mean normal people like you and me that waltz around the city with a crazed glint in their eye.

They look normal, they’re dressed pretty standard, but they’re shouting obscenities into a cell phone in the middle of a Starbucks. Or, they look like they’re on their way to a business meeting, but instead of toting a briefcase, they are carrying an axe. Ok, I made that last one up, but you get the idea; these people are just a little off. Which does not mean they’re not friendly. Indeed, no, most of the people we encountered were extremely nice and helpful, offering subway advice and directions like we were old friends. Of course, some people are just surly jerks, but, welcome to the world, right?

My favorite normal-slash-crazy person we saw was a woman standing on a street corner. She was dressed in business attire with a long beige overcoat on. She had well-kept light brown hair, left down and reaching slightly below her shoulders. She wore makeup and carried a leather briefcase. She looked completely normal except that she was standing at a street corner waiting for the light to turn with her mouth completely open and a ridiculous, over-the-top surprised/shocked look on her face. It looked as though someone had just been murdered across the intersection in front of her white-collared eyes.

Turning to look where she was focused, there was nothing to be seen. Kane and I looked at each other. Maybe she just remembered something; she left the iron on at home or whatever. Glancing back after we passed her, she remained in the same position. It was as though she was catatonic. It was ridiculous and beyond speculation of an explanation. Which seems to be what a lot of New Yorkers are going for: you really need to be a freak to stand out amongst these folks.

Aside from the droves of people in New York, which can be a site unto themselves, there are also a billion noteworthy landmarks and attractions to see. Good ones too. We really didn’t even scratch the surface in only three days, but we did the NBC studios tour, went to the top of the Empire State Building, strolled through Central Park, were visually overwhelmed by Times Square, viewed the Statue of Liberty from the Staten Island Ferry, wandered down Wall Street, stopped by the big empty space that is Ground Zero, and had lots of classic New York and American foodstuffs in between.


The first two days we were there the weather was gorgeous: sunny, warm, t-shirt time. The day before we left, Friday, the weather turned and we were caught out in the freezing windyness all day, much to my dismay. Overall, however, it was an excellent visit and I was glad to be re-acquainted with a city I visited so long ago. I would happily visit again, preferably in the early fall or late spring when the weather is likely to hold.

See the rest of our pictures of NYC here.

On Saturday, Kane and I boarded our respective flights to the West Coast, finally! I arrived back in Hayward at 4:45 with Dad waiting at the airport to pick me up, and Kane landed in Seattle at just about the same time, spending one last week visiting a couple friends and his momma in Washington and Oregon.

So, that was it, that was the trip. I will be further blogging regarding the aftermath of this whole extravaganza; spending totals (with charts included – you can’t wait!), summarizing musings, reflections, and our new life on the rebound. So, stay tuned for the epilogue, even though the pictures probably won’t be as exciting.

Pizza-athon

As we headed to Italy in late September, Kane made a pact with himself. He vowed to eat as many pizzas in our three week trip as he possibly could.

Let me back up and tell you that Kane loves pizza. He loves all pizza, be it American, Australian, Italian, or frozen. Bread, tomato sauce, cheese. His very favorite is Margherita pizza, but I think he'll eat just about any kind happily. We had “pizza Fridays” in Melbourne where we would patronize his very favorite pizza place ever, Medici, on the ground floor of our building. I would wager that he could eat pizza every day for eternity and still have a huge smile on his face on the millionth bite.

So, in the land where pizza was invented (if not perfected), Kane vowed to gorge himself.

We were in Italy for 20 days, but the first and last were the travel days in and out, so we're only really counting 18 full days of Italian tourism. And therefore, 18 days were available for pizzas to be consumed by Kane. His initial goal was to have a 3:2 ratio of pizzas to days, meaning 3 pizzas every 2 days, or 1.5 pizzas a day average. It was plain pretty soon that this would be very difficult. I will take the blame and say that if I weren't there to fuss over food and insist on not constantly eating pizza, he probably could have done it. My digestive system, however, is not as resilient as his; I need other kinds of food too.


And so, over the 18 days we were walking, talking, and eating Italian, Kane consumed a whopping... 25 pizzas. Yes I photographed every single pizza he ate just so that this collage could be made. Isn't it impressive? Isn't it gorgeous?? I think so. Kane drools at the sight. You may notice that only 24 pizzas are shown in the picture, which is because one night he ate two identical pizzas from the same take away place (he was hungry), and I only took a picture of one of them since they were the same. It makes the collage neater, so it worked out.

And, he actually came quite close to his 3:2 goal; only 2 more pizzas and he would have been on target. I'm proud of him anyway. As for Kane's single favorite pizza? The winner, the champion, the best pizza in the world?? Margherita pizza, Medici's Restaurant, Melbourne, Australia. Go. Freaking. Figure.

Venice, and That's a Wrap

On the 14^th we took an arduous train journey from Cinque Terre back through Florence and over to Venice. We only spent one full day in Venice, but it was a nice end to our tour through Italy. The only unfortunate part of the deal was that central Europe has been hit by an episode of “early winter” with which follow symptoms including record low temperatures, unexpected snow fall, and incessant complaining.

Since Venice is in the northeast corner of Italy, bordering Switzerland and Austria, it was definitely affected by this unhappy bout of cold. No more capri pants and t-shirts for me; I had to whip out all the defenses I had with me, which weren't plentiful. It did not deter us (much) though, we still took our day and walked all around Venice. Over bridges, through alleys, into pizzerias.

See Venice pics here.

Venice is a nice town. I think its entire purpose at this point in its long history is to exist completely for the amusement of tourists. I'm pretty sure any semblance of the original culture is gone, replaced by a hundred thousand souvenir shops and exorbitant prices. That said, the place still retains its uniqueness. Obviously it's a city built on water; it's ancient, it's got a maze of canals, it's littered by bridges. Besides it being seemingly entirely occupied by tourists, it's still a comfortable place. It's clean, vibrant, and has an air of richness about it that I think even the most travel-weary can enjoy. I think it would actually be one of the easiest places to visit if you were making a trip across the pond; it's like Europe 101.

One thing I found endearing (that could also possibly be interpreted as infuriating) is that it is simultaneously extremely simple and completely impossible to get around this island. What I mean by that is that the whole place is a tightly woven web of very old alleyways and canals. There are no cars. No streets are at ninety degrees from each other. There is no grid, no order, no rhyme, no reason. If you want to walk around, you just start walking and pretty soon you'll have gotten around – easy as that. If you want to visit somewhere in particular, however, good luck.

Kane and I have excellent senses of direction and we had maps and there was no way to get anywhere (except the train station, thank goodness, that's a straight shot) in a timely or direct fashion. The streets are at all kinds of angles so even the keenest sense of direction is easily thrown. You constantly find yourself in dead ends, either facing a building or a canal. The street signs are perhaps even more minimal than in the rest of Italy because they apparently don't think it's worth the bother to label tiny alleys, even though that's the only kind of roads there are.

I found that if you're willing to just go with the flow, it's totally fun and extremely entertaining to just meander around for hours at a time. If you're trying to get somewhere on a schedule, you might be better off jumping in a big canal and swimming there because at least the waterways are marked on the maps.

Another interesting thing about Venice are the exports. I don't mean sugar cane and coffee beans or whatever, I mean all the junk at the souvenir/nick knack shops. We've been all around this continent and you typically see the same old crap wherever you go: post cards, magnets, scarfs, t-shirts, candy, etc. Some places will have a particular type of local craft (read: junk) that's on offer, very rarely is it impressive or tempting for me to buy.

But Venice has approximately a billion shops selling almost exclusively masks or glass goods. Apparently it is a local tradition to make glass (I guess it's called Murano glass) and they have really gone wild with the concept. Entire stores are filled with colorful glass figurines, ash trays (or change trays, as I like to use them), beads, necklaces, clocks, vases, and on and on. And then another ton of stores are devoted entirely to theatrical-looking masks. Glittery masks, porcelain masks, masks with hats, masks with huge noses. I'm not sure why this is the case, nor am I sure what one does with one of these masks (I did see one Asian woman trying them on over her face, which I found funny). They were pretty though. I think some of them had a mounting such that it can hang as a wall decoration, but most of them looked life-sized, like a person could wear them. Where? For Halloween or something? I may never know. But it's ok, they were pretty to look at.


So, we had fun for our short stint in Venice, and then we boarded our longest train ride of the trip (7 hrs total) from Venice to Munich. It was better than flying though, I can say that. We spent three days sitting around in Jon's apartment, vegging out appropriately, and then spent our final day in Munich hanging out with two of our friends from Australia, Damien and Grace, who are now picking up where we're leaving off and traveling all around Europe. It was so awesome to see them and we hope they can come visit California next year! Now we're off to NY to three final days before returning to the West Coast!!

A Little Slice of Heaven

No, I'm actually not talking about food this time. Not a cake nor a tart nor a pie of any sort. You don't believe that I would call something "a slice of heaven" if it weren't covered in chocolate ganache, do you? I don't blame you; you know me well.

But alas, it is actually a national park I speak of. And it's different than any national park you might know in America or Australia. We're not talking rivers and grassland, camping and bird watching. We're talking about five tiny, centuries-old villages perched along a mountainous stretch of the Mediterranean coast in northwestern Italy. We are talking about Cinque Terre.

Cinque Terre (pronounced cheen-kway terr-ay) means Five Lands and refers to the five villages that were built by hand into the hillsides over the centuries, documented back to approximately 500 AD. More amazing than just the villages themselves are the crops that have been painstakingly terraced into the hillsides; their main yield being mostly grapes for wine, as far as I can tell. These hills aren't exactly of "rolling" caliber, however, they are steep, forbidding cliffs that are literally being held together by the crops growing on them. It would have been quite a feat to build.

Which always makes me wonder - why did these people plant crops and build villages here? You see this time and again in human history: groups of people overcoming massive obstacles in their locale of choice for what seems like no real reason. Couldn't these people suck it up and move their stuff down the coast a few miles where the mountains aren't so heinous? I suppose in a lot of cases it's literally impossible to understand all the reasons that went into these types of decisions. Makes the world a more interesting place, doesn't it?

Ok, I digress. Back to it. The villages themselves are a bit like Disneyland. The pastel painted, boxy little structures all crammed together with laundry lines dangling from the windows are totally out of travel magazines and story books. Even walking through the towns I was amazed that it was real.

I think if you look up "quaint" in the dictionary, you may find a picture of one of these adorably run-down, ticky-tacky buildings with a cuddly, squishy, shawl-clad Italian woman out front selling fruit to passersby. I bought a pear. I restrained the urge to hug this woman and her half-toothed grin. I can now see how fairy tales were created.

On a related note, these people actually use the phrase "Mamma mia!". I giggle with delight each time.

There are hiking trails that lead between the five towns and all up in the hills (mountains, really) behind, and the whole area is a national park and, more recently, a UNESCO World Heritage site. All this helps preserve the area just the way it is - no roads for cars, no new buildings, limited tourist traffic (though there are plenty of tourists, I assure you), etc.

Let's start with the furthest town southeast, Riomaggiore. We stayed in this town in a tiny apartment up a ridiculously steep staircase (no elevator) down a teeny little alley. Picture this with all the cuteness possible and no worries of thieves or even beggars. It's all the old-world charm without the burden of social degradation attached. See why I say heaven? Here's Riomaggiore as seen from the peninsula outcropping near the marina:


As for the rest of the towns, they're all pretty similar until you get to the northwest most city, Monterossa, which is more beach-y and modern. It's also less awesome, in my opinion, but we weren't there for too long, so, hard to say. Anyway, here's a one-pic summary of each of the towns:

Manarola:
Corniglia:


Vernazza:

and Monterosso:

As for a favorite village, I would have to say that they seem to all have their charms: Riomaggiore was the perhaps the most photogenic while Manarola appeared to have the most bustling main street. Corniglia seemed to be the quietest and Vernazza had the best piazza on the marina with umbrella-covered restaurants a-plenty. Monterosso was the best if you like beach bummin', but we don't so there wasn't much for us there. I would probably say that Vernazza would be my fav, but they really were all so, so cool.

For the full gamut of pictures, including a couple from our quick stopover in Pisa*, please see the Cinque Terre Picture Album. Next (and last) stop: Venice!

*I would like to note that the faulty foundations under that stupid tower was the best thing that ever happened to Pisa. If that tower were straight and plumb, no one would have ever heard of Pisa, much less bought any overpriced sandwiches from the millions of surly vendors on the main drag. Not that I'm bitter or anything.

Smells Like Florentine Spirit*

Florence is the Yin to Rome's Yang. It's Italy's San Luis Obispo where Rome is its Los Angeles. It's civil and clean and upscale. It's small and homey and easy to navigate. We spent four relaxing nights in an adorable B&B on the first floor (Americans call it the 2^nd floor) of an old stone building by the river. We did not wake up to cars honking and people yelling. We instead awoke to the smell of cappuccino and the murmur of our fellow guests having their breakfast down the hall.

We walked around the town each day and it was pleasant and comfortable. The weather was beautiful most of the time and the city is extremely inviting. The city itself has less than half a million people which tones down the pace of life already, as compared to the metropolises we've already encountered (Rome, Naples). I'm not sure exactly why Florence is so much more calm and clean than cities in the south, but it seems to be just the way it is. Our friend from the language class described the different regions of Italy as all being extremely different; it's quite a phenomenon.

Before we go any further, may I direct you to my Florence Photo Album to go along with this entry.

The main site in Florence is the Duomo (Dome) of the Basilica di Santa Maria del Fiore, a huge cathedral with a gigantic brick (yes, brick!) dome completed in 1436 and engineered by Brunelleschi which was the largest of its kind at the time, and still the largest masonry dome in the world. Huge engineering feat and all that. And it's still standing there, the tallest structure in the city, its enormous unreinforced brick dome held together by ancient timber tension rings. Yep, the thrust (pardon the engineer speak – thrust just means outward force) of the dome is taken out by concentric wood beams tied sloppily together with iron fittings. I have no idea how that's possible, but apparently they were a lot more efficient at engineering back in the day**.

We trudged up the mildly terrifying 483 steps to the top of the Duomo and had a grand old time elbowing other tourists (I aim for the German ones) for some spectacular views of the city below. Fun! And, our hotel was so close to town (about 15 minute walk down the scenic riverside) that we were able to head to the room for a mid-day rest whenever we wanted. Quite a change from our endurance-challenge in Rome.

We spent the rest of our time wandering around the streets (safe, clean, pretty), looking in shop fronts (expensive), eating (pizza, gelato, no change here), and seeing the few sights. There actually are quite a few things to see in the city, but they're not exactly Rome caliber. Aside from the Duomo, we walked across the famous old bridge, Ponte Vecchio, lined in jewelry shops; we strolled the piazza adjacent the Uffizi Gallery and photographed the replica David statue standing in the original's spot; we hiked up the hill to the southeast of the city to view the city from above at Piazzale Michelangelo (the Wiki entry has a rad panoramic - my pic below is just ok).


We even paid outrageous admission to see the real statue of David in the Archeological Museum in the north of the town. It really is an incredible statue; we were adequately impressed. Other than that, we really didn't do a whole lot and that was fine for us. Our trip is winding down and so are we. It's time to be done with these shenanigans. But not before just a few more stops...Cinque Terre on the northwest coast, Venice in the northeast, Munich one last time, and then a brief stop in New York City before we are reacquainted again with the smiling faces of our California (and Oregon, for Kane) friends and family.

*It's a play on words of the Nirvana song Smells Like Teen Spirit. It was hard to come up with a pun for the title since "Florence" and "Florentine" don't rhyme with much anything. Other candidates were: A Florence by Any Other Name, and Eggs Florentine. If you can think of a good one, I'd be curious to see; please leave a comment.

**Now we would use steel for such things; it is far better in tension than wood, as you might imagine. And it degrades far less easily.

Picture Ketchup

Not ketchup, silly, catch-up! I run out of titles for these posts, you know? Gotta change it up a bit, keep you on your toes.

The point is that I've been blathering on about all these wonderful things for the past couple weeks but have been hoarding the visuals all to myself. They're all mine! You can't see!! Ok, yes you can. And here you shall.

Let's get caught up. Way back when, we were in Switzerland and then stopped through Munich to catch a glimpse of Oktoberfest. Remember these things? Well, here are some pictures so you can see.

Switzerland and Oktoberfest Pictures

Where after that...oh yes, we flew over to Roma. And took a respectable amount of pictures there, as deserved. She's such a pretty city, if you look over the beggars and around the dog doo. Pictures, coming up!

Rome Pictures

Next stop was a little detour down south to Naples where we dodged some serious garbage-ridden streets and made it over to the ancient cities of Pompeii and Herculaneum. Feast your eyes on these pics!

Pompeii and Herculaneum Pictures

Ah, there. Now we're just about caught up. At this very moment we've just arrived in Venice after spending four days in Cinque Terre and four days before that in Florence. So, we're not exactly caught up, are we? No, but we're getting there. Shortly I will tell you tales of Florence with visual aides ready and waiting, and then I will describe the wonders of beautiful Cinque Terre before, finally, revealing all there is to know about Venice*! The blog finale awaits!

*By "all there is to know", I mean all that I know. There is a significant gap between the two that I thought would be prudent to tell you about. We do live in a very litigious society, you know.

Let's Talk Pompeii

Do you like really old stuff? How about volcanoes? How about time travel?? Well, if you like the first two, have I got a couple places for you to see! If you like the third then read a damn book or go watch Star Trek or something. We're talking old ruined towns here, not Picard's journey back to the 19th century*, and Pompeii and Herculaneum are certainly world-class.

So, brief, relatively accurate historical summary: in the early centuries B.C. there were people around Mount Vesuvius and they were living the life. They built their little stone cities, they partied on the beach, they oppressed the women and slaves, or whatever they did for fun back then. Then, in 62 A.D. there was a gnarly earthquake that knocked a lot of their neat little un-engineered buildings down. They started to put them back up, but just 17 years later in 79, Mount Vesuvius threw a huge hissy fit and rained ash and pumice down on all the surrounding little towns killing everyone around and burying everything under tons and tons of volcano goo.

Fast forward to 1700 years later when someone accidentally finds these buried towns and begins unofficial excavations. A bunch of cool stuff was pillaged from the sites for the next many years and then real excavations started in the mid-1800's. Even today both sites are still being excavated, and a good chunk of Herculaneum is trapped under the modern day city with no apparent plans to unearth it.

Whew! Ok, so there you go. Obviously, the cool thing about these places is the way that the volcano's ashes covered the cities, preserving them almost perfectly for so long. Pompeii was buried below 12-60 feet of ash and mud and Herculaneum below around 60 feet (though there appears to be some discrepancy - get it together Wikipedia editors!) and besides the burnt remains of any organics (wood, people, food, clothes) and the structural collapses from the weight of the debris, most everything else in the city remained intact underground for 1700 years.

During the extensive excavations, they have found all sorts of pottery, tools, statues, frescoes on the walls, and mosaic tiled floors, in addition, of course, to half of all the buildings (the bottom half, typically) revealing the exact layout of the towns' streets and structures. The archaeologists seem to know the purpose of each of the buildings (houses, stores, brothels, etc) and, often, who the owners of the residences were. It's pretty amazing.

If you've never heard of Herculaneum, it's basically just another town about 10 miles away from Pompeii that suffered a similar fate. The place is far smaller but even better preserved. The cool thing about Herculaneum is that it wasn't initially in the path of the volcano's main pyroclastic flows so many of the houses filled up with ash and debris before the wind shifted and the real poo hit the fan. Therefore, many of the structures were all nicely supported by this debris and many of the roofs didn't collapse. So there's a bunch of buildings almost entirely in-tact, roof and all. It's so cool!


Also, since the initial stuff that rained down on Herculaneum wasn't a bagillion-gillion degrees, it didn't entirely destroy every piece of wood in the place. It singed most of it to hell and certainly killed all the people no problem, but there are still some of the wood beams in place that were there 2000 years ago. Now that is rad.

On Sunday, after taking longer to figure out the stupid train system than we actually spent at the site, we finally made it to Herculaneum for a mid-afternoon visit. It was a beautiful day, as seems to be standard in southern Italy in October, and the place was stunning. This site is far smaller than Pompeii and is therefore a bit more manageable. Though I think I still could go back ten more times and find something new each time. It's a maze of cobbled streets with a grid of ruins all around it. But, as I mentioned, some of the structures are almost completely in-tact. Click the collage to see it larger:


Plus, since it's totally a tourist thing, it's cleaner and quieter than any place around**, which was a nice change from hanging out in Naples. Loved it, would highly recommend.

Monday we took the same train (less difficulty this time - we're pros now) further down and walked around the sprawling ruins of Pompeii. The place is 164 acres, 2/3 of which is excavated (or so they tell me). It's massive. You might imagine, knowing our patience levels, that we did not see every building . And, to be honest, by the end they sort of all look the same. But still, super awesome ruins, beautiful surrounding area, and most excellent prehistoric brothel ever (complete with stone beds - ouch!).


I'm really glad we decided to do one site each day instead of cram them both together one after another. They really are both worth a good look. Apparently there are three smaller sites around there too which we did not have time for. I certainly would not mind returning someday to do it all again and stop by the smaller ones as well.

So, until next time Pompeii, I hope you can stick around for another few years so that we may meet again.

*As seen in the last episode of Season 5: Time's Arrow. I wasn't hating on Star Trek nerds, I was just pointing out that this is not today's topic.

**There was definitely a barrier of garbage bags that built up on a street between the ruins and the train station such that we were able to skirt the garbage on the way down but had to find an alternate route on the way back up. These people have a serious garbage problem.

Naples: Love It or Hate It

Naples belongs in a category by itself. It should not be in Italy. It should be in, say, Thailand. Mexico maybe. I had thought Rome was chaotic and dirty. Rome's got nothing on Naples.

After arriving by train (another topic altogether - everything's a fiasco in this country) on Saturday (the 3rd), we wound our way though the city on foot to find our hostel. The hostel was about 2km or so away from the train station, so I estimated that we could handle the 20-30 minute walk with our bags. We soon found that our bags were the least of our worries.

The place looked like a war zone. People (often African or middle easterners for some reason) have rickety tables displaying all types of junk for sale - crappy knock off sunglasses, belts, cell phones, jewelry, umbrellas, watches, corded home phones (must have apprehended these from 1985), etc, etc - that line every sizable street and piazza. The traffic is complete chaos and I'm terribly surprised that cars are able to move at all. Pedestrians and scooters do whatever the hell they want. Helmets are loosely suggested (though I sort of wanted one even as a pedestrian). The movement of the cars is only limited by their size and the speed at which they can accelerate.

And, more noticeably, there is garbage everywhere. Graffiti covers every available surface. I was suddenly very aware that we were both carelessly dressed in flip-flops and in constant danger of stepping in broken glass (which seemed to cover the entirety of the ground surface quite evenly), dog doo, or any number of other kinds of filth (tossed sandwiches, rotting donuts, syringes). It was heinous.

I feared that only cut-throats or the desperately poor (i.e. cut-throats) would live in these conditions, but, surprisingly, the people looked rather normal. Most of the other folks out for a stroll were well dressed with combed hair. They appeared to have homes and showers and cash. I'm not exactly sure what is going on in this town that normal people would choose to live in third world conditions and we didn't stay long enough to find out. I heard rumors about things to do with the mafia, but like I said, we didn't pry.

After our first run through the town, however, I started to get used to it. The very worst parts are right next to the train station and as you venture further out in the city, it mellows out a bit. And though it appears that thieves and hooligans would be waiting around every corner to mug you, we never actually felt threatened, even at night. I think we fly under the radar with Kane being a relatively large man, the two of us always being together, and neither of us appearing particularly well-off (no jewelry, plastic watches, blue jeans, dirty shoes). Anyway, we were able to enjoy ourselves despite the initial fright.

I found myself continuing to swing wildly between hating and loving the place during our 3-night stay. I would become very tense walking down the streets with men offering me iPhones out of their jacket pockets, but then I would be so happy to find an excellent pizza place. I would be completely fed up with the lack of clarity at the train station* but then feel completely content browsing the peaceful nearby ruins of Herculaneum. It was definitely an odd experience.

My final conclusion is that Naples itself is actually a really cool town. I think it has some sights to see and could be quite fun. Unfortunately, we only booked our two days there to see the nearby archaeological digs of Herculaneum and Pompeii, and spent the rest of our time in Naples deciding whether it was horrible or not. Maybe another time, Naples.

*The train station is under construction, as if an Italian train terminal needs further confusion. The day before we left, I stood in one plaza and could see four different signs pointing me four different directions to the restroom. And, unlike in the US, there were not actually bathrooms all four directions. In fact, I couldn't find any of them (the signs appeared to be circular) and had to use the nearby McDonald's (at least some things are constant the world over). Everything at the train station was roughly this difficult.

Rome: The Sights

No, we do not mean Rome, Ohio. Or even Rome, Indiana. Weather.com, I would like to suggest you get your act together. Sorry, needed to vent.

There are a million things to see and do in (the real) Rome. Undoubtedly, a person could stay a year, nay live there their whole life and not see all the sights Rome has to offer. Needless to say we had not the time nor the patience to “see it all”. We did manage to hit up the Big Ones though. Please refer below for a numbered list followed by a witty description of each sight.

1. The Vatican. This place is a doozy. It's got the immense St. Peter's Basilica on the one side and then gracefully encased in the remaining walled-off area there are gardens and buildings and, more notably (and accessibly), the Vatican Museums, ending in the infamous Sistine Chapel. Basilica: cool. It's giant, it's got light flooding in, it's epically decorated*. Museums: boring. So much stuff that nothing looks spectacular compared to all the glam around it. It's hot, it's crowded, we had no guide. No photos allowed in the Sistine Chapel and if you take one, you get harasses like you're an 8 year old who just stole a candy bar**. It just wasn't for us.


2. The Colosseum. You know, the old Colosseum thing? In Rome? On all the post cards? Cool place, very neat. They need to get it together though with the people offering tours who flag you down outside the place and negotiate you into their tour. It feels like they're conning you even though they're really not.


3. Palatine Hill and The Roman Forum. This is all the excavated ruin stuff just next to the Colosseum. It's sort of a smattering of parts of buildings from 2000-3000 years ago. It's really cool stuff, but again, there aren't any signs so you have to either know what's there already, have a guide, or not really care what you're looking at. We were in group 3 and had a good time.


4. The Pantheon. Old, simple, free. What's not to like?

5. Trevi Fountain. Iconic fountain in old town Rome. Apparently one of the first non-religious commissioned art projects in Rome, or at least that's what I think our new friend from the language class told us (she's a professor and author of Art History). Very pretty at night.


6. Spanish Steps. In my opinion, not really one of the more exciting sights in Rome, but for some reason very famous. Nice place for a sit down on a hot day or to do some people watching. Also, just near our language school which made it (the school) easy to find.

This along with countless hours strolling the backward, mish-mosh of streets that they use for a downtown, which is a sight in and of itself, really. Rome is the only major modern city I've ever seen that didn't, at some point, bulldoze all the nonsensical cobbled alleyways built a thousand years ago and install a more organized system of streets. Some towns in Germany or England will have the cute little preserved "Old Town" area of town where gift shops and ice cream stands linger triumphantly, but they certainly don't use these areas as the living, breathing heart of their city. Rome doesn't seem to mind.

So that was Rome. We took a zillion pictures that I still need to sort through and post to Picasa, but that will have to wait. Off to other parts of this crazy country!

*Apparently they didn't have Ikea back then. Too bad for them, they had to use more than just allen wrenches to construct the thing.

**Paraphrased dialog between random stupid tourist and security guard:
Security: Mam, you're not allowed to take pictures in here. Do you want to be escorted out?
Dumb tourist shakes her head.
Security: Because if you take pictures in here, you will be made to leave. Do you understand?
Dumb tourist nods.
Security guard meets up with other guards and continue to loudly "SHHHH" the hundreds of people crammed in the room together.

A Whole New Language

I'd thought of taking a language class in Italy a while ago, when we were planning this trip. Once I realized we'd have a few weeks here at the end of the trip, I thought the opportunity was perfect.

I looked up a few language schools around the country and found a nice looking one in Rome. We were originally intending on starting in Venice and working our way South through Italy, but since many of the schools are in Rome, we decided to start there and train North.

We registered for a relatively expensive (in my opinion) one-week long class at Italia Idea language school right in the heart of Rome. People typically register for longer than one week, but we didn't have the time to stay longer. We started last Monday, attended four 3-hour classes (and one relatively useless city tour and cultural orientation - they were in Italian), ending last Friday. We were wary of doing this for a few reasons: a)It might be a waste of time since you can't learn very much of a language in only one week; b)The school might be total crap and not be enjoyable or helpful at all; c)The class might be paced too slowly or too fast and be very frustrating.

Also, it was a bit pricey and you know how I hate wasting money. But, after a week of class with 3 other people (2 Americans, 1 Aussie, all girls) and one excellent teacher, we learned a good amount and had some fun. We are far from fluent, but I can count to one hundred*, ask how much something costs, greet people, etc. We got as far as all that plus learning the indefinite and definite articles, learning plural and singular nouns, and some random vocabulary based mostly on restaurant menus and items in the room with us (table, chair, window, etc).

It really was a solid intro to the language (it's very similar to Spanish, by the way) and it gave us a nice focus for a week, which we haven't had for a long time. Our schedule was such that we woke in the mornings for breakfast and internet in our hotel, did some sight-seeing for a few hours (usually a different sight each day; there are many in Rome), and then made it over to our class at 3:30, usually having dinner afterward around 7.


We had five very full days with lots of walking (and sweating - it's still warm down here), learning, and picture-taking. Io amo Italia!

*I can never remember the number for 17 because it's far too long of a word and doesn't follow the same rules as all the rest of the numbers. (Diciassette is seventeen in Italian - but I cheated to tell you that)

In-Flight Italians

Our flight from Munich to Rome last Sunday (Sept 27) was not exactly our first time on an airplane. It was, however, our first time on a flight to Italy. I had not expected anything different than any other flight I've ever been on, but that's where I was wrong. This flight was full of Italians.

Even though the flight was leaving from Germany, most people appeared to be speaking Italian rather than German. Though it is hard to tell since Italian appears to be spoken at a far louder volume than other languages.

To start, the people milling around terminal were rambunctious. I thought there were just some larger groups of people together and that they were excited to go wherever they were going, so they were a bit chatty. Fine, no big deal. Unlike other trips though, this continued throughout the entire flight. It was like a damn family reunion on the plane. There were at least half a dozen people standing in the aisles for the entire duration of the flight so as to be able to chat with their friends or family or whatever. For all I know, these people didn't even know each other and they were just very happy to meet. It was like going to the library and getting stuck there with a group of bubbly high school kids decked out in Prada and D&G. No one else seemed to notice.

So, we continued to read our books and doze off for the duration of the 2 hr flight, ignoring the animated chatter taking place all around us. We chuckled as the surly German flight attendants had to repeatedly ask each Italian, one by one, to move so they could maneuver the drink trays down the aisle.

But the best part came right at the end of the flight. We had descended through the clouds, the sun having already set, and were approaching the runway just like normal. The cabin was a bit quieter since everyone had been forced back into their seats. As soon as the plane successfully touched down onto the runway, everyone went nuts. Huge applause, whistles, and cheers filled the cabin. Like we just won the damn lottery or something. It really made me think about how excitable these people really are. The flight landed like it was supposed to and they act like it is the best thing that's ever happened to them. I can only imagine what would have happened if the flight attendant had rolled the drinks trolley over their toes or something – I picture extravagant gesticulation and animated arguments. Because I don't think it's fair to imagine that they would be so exuberant over a plane landing and not equally "animated" if someone accidentally gave them a flat tire.

Anyway, the joy continued; a raucous round of applause was given as the first of the luggage started spewing out of the conveyor belt in the baggage carousel. I can't even imagine having that kind of energy. They're a bit like children. They are loud, impulsive, and generally happy. I am relatively quiet, introverted, and most certainly sarcastic. Two different approaches to life, eh? Well, let's see if I can't learn something while I'm here..."when in Rome" and all that.

Lucerne + Oktoberfest = Final Stretch

Hello. Welcome back to our continuing adventures around Europe. Thank you for joining me. I realize that it probably gets a bit tedious to read about every walking tour we've taken in every major European city for the past three months and I would like to thank you for your dedication and interest thus far. And, since I shouldn't make assumptions, I would like to thank you for being here now and reading about this intermission in our trip.

That's a bit like what this week was: an intermission. Or maybe a 2^nd intermission since it isn't exactly the halfway point anymore. Six days spent between the big attractions of Paris and Rome, where we didn't do very much except a bit of walking and a lot of watching Season 3 of House, M.D.

Last Sunday (the 20th) we arrived in Lucerne, Switzerland and stayed for three nights in a really nice dorm-turned-hostel. We didn't do too much during our two days in Lucerne, mostly because I'm not sure if there really is much to do. We walked around the town, enjoyed the cute shops, strolled the river banks, and ate some local “traditional” bakery fare (see pic of Kane posing happily with these foods; it wasn't as bad as he is making it look).

It was nice; it was relaxing. We didn't get to see much of Switzerland, but it appears to be a fine place. There are no homeless people. Drivers are habitually and extraordinarily accommodating to each other and pedestrians. All signs and labels are in three languages: German, French, and Italian. And since most people seem to speak at least some of each of these languages, it is not uncommon to find most people knowing a good amount of English also. They're like Germans but without the attitude and with large amounts of disposable income. I suppose being rich probably would put you in a good mood. Can't fault the Swiss, can you?

After our tiny stint in Lucerne, we dropped our beloved car off in Strasbourg and caught a train over to Munich. We had our little Clio III for 70 days and put exactly 10,667 kilometres (6628 miles) on her. She was a fine car and we treated her well. She will be missed.

After our goodbyes, we said hello to Jon, yet again, as we bunked down in his house in Munich for four nights. We spent one day getting serious about Oktoberfest, staking out a table in one of the tents early in the day with some of Jon's friends. While they planned to stay all night until closing (11pm), Kane and I were quite ready for a nap around 5pm after being there for over four hours.
Kane managed to drink two liters of beer during that time (they are sold in liter glasses, a bit more than a quart, and way, way too much for me) and he was down for the count. The burly security personnel who so kindly encouraged us to remove ourselves from the table we were occupying at 5pm (by picking up the ends of the benches we were sitting on and growling angrily in German) left Kane no other choice but to guzzle the last 1/3 of his 2^nd glass. Which pretty much did the trick.

Twenty minutes after leaving Oktoberfest Kane was unconscious on our air mattress in his undies. He remained this way for three hours, getting up to pee twice. At 8pm Jon came home unexpectedly early, which worked out since I thought I might starve to death shortly thereafter. Kane arose with an early onset (albeit mild) hangover and we had pasta with our House. At least one of us got to receive the full Oktoberfest experience, eh?

The next two days we spent mostly sitting around in pajamas with Jon*, finishing up Season 3 of House, and screwing around on the internet. We did make it back to Oktoberfest just to walk around and take some pics and we also went to see the movie District 9 at the English language movie theater. All three of us enjoyed the movie. And, I even got all our hotels booked for Italy; I am sparing no expense at this point. But don't tell Kane that.
Which brings us to now: the final stretch. It is Sunday the 27^th of September and we're on our way to Rome (upon writing; now we're in Rome). We will spend three weeks touring around Rome, Naples, Florence, Cinque Terre, and Venice before returning to Munich one last time to see Jon and collect all of our stuff (we keep leaving select items there so that we don't have to carry unnecessary things on each leg of the trip) and heading to New York.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the end! It's been a long journey and we're pretty ready for it, but we're also looking forward to Italy. Kane has set ambitious pizza goals that he will need to work hard to achieve. We are taking an Italian language class for five days in Rome. Our accommodation budget has gone heinously over allowance. This will be a good end to our epic Europe travels.

*Yes, Jon does have blue hair. Isn't he so hip and alternative?

Best Decision of the Trip

It started to get bad in London.

We knew this trip would be expensive and we tried to organize a budget that was tight but realistic. We thought we cut ourselves enough slack, but the UK was throwing everything off. One meal out would spend all the money allotted for an entire day's food. Forget buying a beverage; cokes and spirits are outrageous and not worth it. Every activity costs about twice what we had anticipated (example: a half hour ride on the London Eye costs £17! That's about $27 USD or $36 AUD per person – ridiculous!). I was spending hours upon hours, day after day searching for our upcoming hotels to find places that were under budget but weren't completely horrible. We were getting very bogged down.

And then we went to Ireland. Ireland, though thankfully on the Euro instead of the stupid Great British Pound (doesn't seem so Great to me), is even more expensive. Our first night we had “gourmet” hamburgers for about $20 AUD each ($15 USD). A non-refillable coke in a restaurant, say 12 oz, will run you about 4-5 Euro ($7 or so USD or $8-10 AUD). We were freaking out. The trip all but came to a stand still.

We were eating at grocery stores and still breaking the budget. The hotels were all over budget no matter how hard I tried, and I was getting worn out looking so hard. Fortunately there isn't much to do in Ireland, so our budget for “activities” was doing ok. But still, we were stressed.

And so, in Cork, we decided to forget it. We had been discussing it pretty much constantly for the past week or so. What do we do? Do we just spend more money? Should we just forfeit eating the food we want to and staying in nicer places to save? On the one hand, we already have the money, it's not like we're racking up the credit card bills; we had, in fact, saved it specially for this. On the other hand, we didn't need to be traveling so luxuriously; we could cut back on the restaurants, hotels, desserts and just see what there is to see.

I remember specifically having a conversation with Rhonda about it (Kane's mom) over Skype and discussing how we should be spending more and worrying less. What I was saying was true, but I was essentially arguing against myself. Then, in the restroom at the Jameson Distillery outside Cork, I made a decision.

The decision was not to go crazy and spend it all, but to spend more and stop worrying; to listen to my own arguments. Our collective anxiety over this was really destroying the fun of our trip. Eating at restaurants, staying at cute hotels, and nibbling fancy desserts are my favorite things to do. We're not hardcore travelers; it's not worth it for us just to be in a place. I want to enjoy the tastes and sights of a new city without eye blinders and handcuffs stamped “BUDGET” on them. The concern for money was significantly inhibiting our enjoyment and I was done with it.

I would still try to find budget accommodation and we wouldn't eat at five-star restaurants or anything. But we would not freak out when dinner cost $60 AUD, which is what a normal meal with no frills costs at a decent restaurant in Ireland.

It was amazing how quickly the change happened. Kane embraced it right away too, he's good about stuff like that. We'd both been mulling over what to do and when I concluded, not illogically, that we either need to sacrifice more money or more enjoyment (and only one is replenishable), he was right there with me. We were enjoying ourselves more already.

This might be one of the reasons I enjoyed Paris so much; we were encumbered by nothing in a wonderful city. And that's why we're here, not to save for a plasma tv for when we get back to the US. We can save for the rest of our lives (and we probably will), but for the next month, we will SPEND and we won't worry!

Incompatible

You know we spend every moment together. Kane and I have pretty much spent 24 hours per day, 7 days a week for the last 5 ½ years at a distance of no more than 20 feet from each other. We live together, we work together, we have breakfast, lunch, and dinner together. We go to the gym, volunteer with the cats, and wash our cars together. Obviously, we're pretty damn compatible. Either that or we're using up all the time we're supposed to spend together for the rest of our lives before we even turn 30, and will be breaking up in the next couple of years. But since that explanation doesn't really make any sense, I'll stick with the compatible thing.

The other day, however, we discovered something. We were on a four hour train ride from France to Germany with nothing to do and motion sickness a constant threat. Neither of us wanted to read and it's a bit crap when one of us bogarts the computer. The only two-person card game we know besides Go Fish (Speed) has gotten tiresome.

Were there any little games on the computer that we could play together? Indeed there was: pinball. I took the left Shift button and he took the right; we each had a flipper. We took turns launching the ball into play. And here is where the differences between us shine like a hundred-watt eco-friendly light bulb.

Kane is patient, calculating. He likes to hold the flipper up when the ball comes down the side chute so that he can stop the ball and put it back into play at his leisure. He will let the ball bounce off his flipper, thinking it is going to bounce over onto mine where I would have a better shot, and let it accidentally fall down the middle. He pushes the flipper one single time just as the ball lands where he wants it, always aiming each shot toward whatever area of the board is lit up for bonus points.

I mash the shift key like it's got a cockroach under it. If the ball is somewhere in the vicinity of my flipper, including heading for or currently touching Kane's flipper, my flipper is flapping wildly. I smack the ball away the second it touches my flipper, regardless of which direction the ball might fly.

I'm a spaz. Kane is a damn guru.

When Kane does the thing where the ball bounces off his flipper and down the gutter (he stopped doing this after a while when he got the hang of how the physics of the game worked – thank goodness) rage rises in me as though he's just slapped my mother across the face*. How could a person possibly be so patient?! We played probably 20 games before tiring. Our scores increased steadily during our practice and we actually seemed to be working well together despite our radically different techniques.

I like to hit the ball as hard as I can** all the way up to the top of the board where it pings around for a while, giving us extra time on a play. Kane likes to follow the lit up arrows on the board to activate extra points. We ended up with a high score on one round of about 1,600,000. This is a good score, trust me. Kane played alone for long after I was sick of the game and in about an hour of solo play, he never broke a score of a million.

And so, I conclude, the sum of our talents is better than one of us alone even when we seem completely incompatible. Isn't that cute?

*He would never do that.

**I could not get away from the idea of this being an actual pinball machine that responds to how hard you engage the flipper, when, in fact, I'm fairly certain that the Shift key only flips the flipper at a set speed when you hit it.