I had my first visit to an Aussie dentist on Thursday. All went pretty well, but I have to say that I was wary about a new dentist in a new country. It seems that everyone pretty much feels the same way about the dentist: it's no fun but preferable to the alternative. Sort of like doing your taxes or showering. I guess it's just not fun for anyone, but with my overactive imagination I always seem to have these wildly awful daydreams about my dentist's secret sadistic tendencies taking hold and him randomly deciding to gouge one of his many sharp utensils into my delicate gums. Or him just slipping with pointy-stabby-stainless-steel-scraper thingie and embedding it into the roof of my mouth. Or the spinny-tooth-buffer-thingie suddenly malfunctioning and catching part of my lip in the rotor. Sorry to expose you to my insanity; I try to snap my mind away before these thoughts become fully Nazi or Quentin Tarantino, but what else am I supposed to think about at the stupid dentist? I can't exactly organize my weekend with him scraping around in there.
Aside from my ridiculousness, there were a few differences that I noticed at this dentist versus any dentist I have ever had in the states - which, granted, is only like 2 that I can remember, so may not be an indicative sample of my home country's dental practices. Firstly, the dentist himself cleaned my teeth. I've never heard of that happening. When I asked him about it, he says he feels like he gets to know his patients better this way - very cute. I did feel better having The Dentist cleaning my teeth rather than some random girl, although the random girls have been doing a decent job so far, never having succumbed to any of my gruesome fantasies (except that one time that the hygienist knocked out one of my loose teeth that I was taking extensive and painstaking efforts not to disturb as it hung quite literally by a strand of gum tissue, a ritual that I repeated for the exodus of the majority of my baby teeth, mostly because I'm a huge baby and get all freaked out by teeth related grossitudes, which probably partially explains my lively dental imagination, though I also have an inordinate number of stupid daydreams in most situations, which I would go into if this sentence weren't ridiculously improper already...).
Anyway, another thing I noticed was that he did the tooth-buffer instrument first, rather than after the tooth-scraping. I have always experienced scrape first, buff after, so this was new and strange. Also, instead of the standard sharp, curved, steel tooth scraper instruments that they normally plunge into the crevices of my teeth, pushing so hard that my thoughts wander to the contingency of the tip breaking off and lodging itself in my tonsils (yes, I still have tonsils), he had an ultrasonic sharp curved tooth scraper thing. It felt strange. It was nicer because he didn't have to really scrape the hell out of my teeth to clean them; he could sort of just glide this thing over and it would do whatever it was supposed to. But the ultrasonic-ness made for some weird sounds and felt almost electric-shock-esque when cleaning between my front teeth. So, I'm not sure if I would prefer it or not, but it doesn't really matter since I'm at his disposal in there.
The funny thing about this new technologically advanced instrument is that it pours out water, assumingly to keep it cool while it does it's sonic groove. Similar to how a concrete circular saw works, if you've ever used one. So, the dental helper girl has to hold the sucky thing in my mouth the entire time to remove all the water that is being dumped in there. It was like having serious dental work done, but with no pain and no numbing...it was kind of weird. I almost laughed at one point (but made a point not to so as to avoid inhibiting their progress) because the ultrasonic thing must have hit some sort of angle against my tooth and water just started shooting out all over my face for a good 10 seconds. While this was happening, the hygienist girl was frantically trying to counter the problem with her sucker utensil, but to no avail. It felt like there was a construction site in my mouth for a minute there. Then when the dentist took a break from sonic-ing my teeth, they both reached for my bib to dab my face at the same time. It was like something out of a three stooges routine.
All in all it went well, my teeth are cleaner, and I can rest easy until my next appointment in December. I am sooo glad that I had a friend to recommend a dentist though - one of the only things keeping my frightening thought at bay was that at least I didn't pick this guy from the yellow pages. He hadn't maimed Alana, so I'll probably be ok. Whew. So, there's the Aussie dentist, he's not a bad guy.
5 comments:
I'm with you on visiting the dentist. I'd rather they just put me under for the whole thing. Maybe not even tell me in the first place. Like every once in a while I just wake up in the afternoon with very clean teeth. Not sure how you can lump showering into the same bucket though.
Coincidently I went to the dentist today. I was telling the Hygienist that I had no idea that you got so freaked out about going to the dentist. She was curious about the differences between Aus dentists and U.S. dentists. She said she uses the buffer thing first and the ultrasound thing when patients have a lot of plaque. Gone to the dentist in awhile, little girl?
The Office Manager overheard the conversation and wanted to read your blog. The address I gave her was
"@blogspot.com", which, of course, is wrong. I was going to send her the right one, but when I came home and reread your entry, decided against it. Of course your fear has nothing to do with any experiences you have had there. They are completely professional, friendly and extremely competent, but we'll just keep this blog to ourselves.
First of all, Dave, I agree about the dentist. Although kidnapping might get annoying, at least the pain would be gone. And as for showering, I have never enjoyed it, but certainly prefer it to the alternative, so that's why I lump it in there - though I sort of did it as a joke. I just hate getting all wet just to try real hard to get dry again 10 minutes later. It's worse with long hair, trust me.
As for mom, it's not really that I fear the dentist, because I don't. I'm not even nervous or apprehensive about going, but I do tend to think of crazy things while I sit there. I'm not like terrified sitting there or anything, just objectively pondering the possibilities that could take place in such a scenario. And I went to the dentist in October before I left - I don't mess around with missing the dentist. I've always been very plaque-y. And you can always share my blog - I try to keep it PG for just that reason. But if you don't want your co-workers to think your daughter's crazed, that's fine too. =)
Wow! Am I the late boy here! You wrote this 5 days ago. I feel so neglectful. I've just been extra busy lately.
Wow, what an imagination on you! I never knew you floated off to coo-cooville when you got your TEETH CLEANED. As a child, I had so many cavities that TEETH CLEANING was like a vacation. (Damn those tasty sugar cubes at the Bowl) You be watching too many violent movies or something. None of that stuff will ever happen to you. I think everyone had a hard time ripping those baby teeth out when they were just hanging by one strand. Gaaa-rrroooosss! When I go get my teeth cleaned, I just daydream about stuff or notice things around the room. Sometimes, I get so relaxed, I start to think I better not nod off and close my mouth at all.... quite different from your experience, eh? Well, I'm glad you found a good dentist anyway. I see I missed a skype call - wah! I hope everything is going well. Stay safe. I love you!
Maybe you should just be like Bill Murray in "Little Shop of Horrors" and enjoy the dentist torture.
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