Bad Decision

Today I made a bad decision. I don't often make bad decisions; I typically pride myself on this aspect of my personality. Excusing circumstances when no educated guess can be made (such as which restaurant to have lunch at in Vienna which turned out to be bad yesterday) I try to weigh options, pose logical solutions, and think practically and objectively about the outcomes of the choices I make. On vacation, it's far easier to make bad choices since every place is new (and, in this case, foreign) and you just don't know what to expect. In this case, I was just plain being an idiot.

No, I was not drunk. I don't drink often and I have yet to drink on this trip at all, save a shot of Bailey's on the plane (it was free!). Today we went to the permanent amusement park in Vienna to have a look around. Our original intent was to ride the 100 year old ferris wheel (sorry mom) and see if there were any other rides that look fun. Which there were. Two rides piqued our attention: a river rafting-style ride (similar to Rip Roaring Rapids at Great America for the Bay Area residents) and a super spinning tea-cups-on-crack style ride. Kane isn't a huge fan of rides so Jon and I decided to patronize the spinning-pods-on-spinning-tenticles ride. This was my bad decision of the year.

As a child I always loved roller coasters and to the best of my knowledge I still do. I also always like the teacups rides which are the ones where you sit in a pod that spins on a platform that spins attached to a central apparatus that spins. It's dizzying madness and it's always made me very happy and appropriately disoriented. This ride was just like a teacups ride but it also went upside down. Apparently this makes all the difference in the world.
The ride starts right side up. And so I started laughing. Fun! It starts to invert. Wooow, crazy more fun! We're all the way upside down. We're thrown around up and down. Which way are we facing? Is that the floor? I feel vomit-ish. I close my eyes. Laughter turns to moaning. Groaning, really. We slow down.
To Jon I say, "Oh thank goodness, I don't think I could have lasted much longer without throwing up"

Jon's response is a notable silence...

We start to spin backwards. We do the whole thing again backwards, though it doesn't really matter because being tossed around in a clothes dryer is pretty much the same no matter which way you're facing. It finally stops. We stagger off. I think I feel better, but this is just the beginning of my sickness. I think I was in shock. Cold sweats followed by hot sweats. I can't walk. Sitting hurts. I check to see that a garbage can is within projectile vomit range. Talking hurts. Jon is ok. I am a wreck.
I collapse onto a bench. At least I have the smell of cotton candy and children to help ease the pain. A half hour later I'm ok to walk to another bench thirty feet away. We forego any other rides; I am too fragile to engage in anything further. The thought of a train ride makes me shiver. A soda helps me regain composure. We continue the day without further incident; a salad a couple hours later and I was good as new. Apparently I'm too old for upside-down-triple-spin rides.

My first words after stepping off that hellish ride? For fans of Anchorman..."Milk was a bad choice". And indeed it was a bad choice.